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  1. Pinned Tweet
    7 May 2021

    You know you're at a Hipster Wedding, when the best man stands up to make an AVOCADO TOAST!

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  2. 13 hours ago
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  3. Retweeted
    13 hours ago

    Our entertaining video, "Matthew and Jay Comedy," is coming out on Tuesday on

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  4. May 18

    Should I send this?

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  5. May 17

    “Did that just happen?” - me, during the incident at the Oscars involving Will Smith and Chris Rock

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  6. Retweeted
    May 17
    , , and 7 others
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  7. May 16
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  8. May 16

    A close buddy of mine just told me to watch my coffee intake. Aaaaaaand I’m off to find a cafe with a mirror…

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  9. May 15

    Imagine dressing up like a grandma and break dancing in a mothaf**king walmart 😭😂

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  10. May 12

    Your "summer body" should be whatever body you can maintain while getting ice cream with your friends & drinking margaritas on the beach

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  11. May 12

    Haha yeah right! We all know it's for the medicinal cannabis...

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  12. May 11

    "GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!" "You mean, where my laptop, my iPod, and phone are? Okay."

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  13. May 11

    It’s a fine breakfast. How have you been doing lately, man?

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  14. May 10

    I just realized why they named this month May. It “may” rain, it “may” snow. Hell, it “may” even be 85 degrees! You see what I’m saying?

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  15. May 8

    Welcome to America: where moms get a day and sharks get a whole week.

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  16. May 4

    People tweeting... "Damn it's May already?" What tf you think comes after April?! April Jr?!

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  17. May 3

    Fuck nudes! I’m in the mood to just run away and goof off and laugh with someone!

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  18. May 2

    Normalize breakfast dates. Let's get coffee, pancakes, some orange juice, and just talk.

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  19. Apr 30

    Let’s go people!

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  20. Apr 27

    A while back a housefly legit landed on Mike Pence’s head. And no, this isn’t even a fucking Onion headline…

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  21. Apr 26

    "I need to speak to the manager" - Karen

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