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You know you're at a Hipster Wedding, when the best man stands up to make an AVOCADO TOAST!pic.twitter.com/tAhSnr4dUn
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This seems a bit “different”…https://twitter.com/matthewgoldin/status/1527779591019896833 …
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Jay Humor Retweeted
Our entertaining video, "Matthew and Jay Comedy," is coming out on Tuesday on http://Eternal.tv pic.twitter.com/sWPk4nDWvU
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“Did that just happen?” - me, during the incident at the Oscars involving Will Smith and Chris Rock
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Jay Humor Retweeted
THIS FRIDAY @ 8 PM at
@ElysianTheater! no gags. just stand up. feat:@TheLondonHughes@rachel_kaly@johnnypemberton@JessyMornerRitt@JerryPaperREAL@alanresnicks@jetzotime@jayweingarten + more! hosted by@touchingcheeses +@KyleMizono TIX: http://elysiantheater.com/shows/goopy pic.twitter.com/SqFUKV3UKe
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Holy shitballs batman, this is INSANE!https://twitter.com/mindykaling/status/1526346475080339456 …
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A close buddy of mine just told me to watch my coffee intake. Aaaaaaand I’m off to find a cafe with a mirror…
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Imagine dressing up like a grandma and break dancing in a mothaf**king walmart

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Your "summer body" should be whatever body you can maintain while getting ice cream with your friends & drinking margaritas on the beach
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Haha yeah right! We all know it's for the medicinal cannabis...pic.twitter.com/OE31XK6KQX
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"GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!" "You mean, where my laptop, my iPod, and phone are? Okay."
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It’s a fine breakfast. How have you been doing lately, man?https://twitter.com/RyanSeacrest/status/659389053469519872 …
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I just realized why they named this month May. It “may” rain, it “may” snow. Hell, it “may” even be 85 degrees! You see what I’m saying?
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Welcome to America: where moms get a day and sharks get a whole week.
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People tweeting... "Damn it's May already?" What tf you think comes after April?! April Jr?!
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Fuck nudes! I’m in the mood to just run away and goof off and laugh with someone!
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Normalize breakfast dates. Let's get coffee, pancakes, some orange juice, and just talk.
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A while back a housefly legit landed on Mike Pence’s head. And no, this isn’t even a fucking Onion headline…
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"I need to speak to the manager" - Karen
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