jc

@jasminewes

it's dirty, it's filthy, its paradise

Vrijeme pridruživanja: listopad 2013.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    8. sij 2017.

    I drunk flirt with my boyfriend every time we go out but I think it's pretty effective bc he always comes home with me(we live together tho)

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Little Man’s hearing implants are turned on for the very first time. This is the Twitter content I’m here for...💪😍😇🔊❤️💪

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    Yo fat ass got about 4 & a half months to get that body in shape for summer time. Everytime you say “next Monday” just know you shave a week off, you fat bitch, GET A GRIP!!!

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  4. prije 12 sati

    I am 6 months pregnant and for the first time it has just dawned on me that I’ve never been around a baby before and will have literally no fucking clue what to do once my babe is born...fuck

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    This week my kid (nicely) asked me to stop inquiring about her day after school because "it is a little annoying to get the same question every day" and that if she had something important to tell me she would. SHE IS NINE WHAT THE FUCK

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Most of us are 3 bad months away from poverty but never 3 good months away from being wealthy. Stop caping for the rich

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Due to recent shifts, our relationship has evolved, these are our stories... *Ahem* first story ⚆ _ ⚆ She patiently waited in the shower for me & this is after her bath. She's been tryna tell me it's her bath time but.... I—

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    my favorite part about having a job is assuming you’re fired every time your boss calls you into their office

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    i hate this video because this is genuinely exactly how my brain works 24/7

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    The hospital called today about the bill from my delivery and the person was being rude af. So I hit her with, “what are you going to do, repo my baby?” and hung up lmao.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    imagine getting so horny that you call an attorney

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I’d rather argue with anybody else before i argue with another Gemini, a Libra, or an Aquarius. That don’t mean i won’t. Just means i know what I’m getting myself into lmao. Them air signs are all lethal with the lip.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj
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  14. 6. velj

    A concept I’ll never be able to wrap my head around, we literally drew lines on maps and then told other people they can’t cross those lines... on a literal rock floating in the middle of space with 7 billion people living on it...

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Being kissed while you're asleep is one of the most purest forms of love.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Millennials will not stay at a job if they don’t like it. Millennials will tell your what they’re not going to do. Millennials will use all their sick time to enjoy life. Millennials will take a lunch break to go get their hair done. I love us.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I CANT WAIT to marry the love of my life & have a cute little family. that’s something i look forward to everyday

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj
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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    I’m picky & I picked u

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    He was SHOCKED when the room called him out and he realized he was on his own. They’re only brave behind a screen or in numbers.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    “The image tweeted by Pompeo is from a Simpsons episode titled "Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington," in which Lisa tears up her prize-winning essay about American values after witnessing a corrupt congressman accepting a bribe, shattering her faith in democracy.”

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