"if women have not been responsible for picking mates for say... tens of thousands of years, one would not expect them to be adapted to doing it (and they aren't.)" --Private correspondence
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If your society self polices then you can allow female choice (if not absolutely then to a large degree) because the pool is already vetted.
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Which of these pre-approved (co-religionist, whose parents we know) gentlemen do you prefer works fine.
End of conversation
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