I paid $3,000,000 for that 30 seconds of dead air. I wanted to give everyone a chance to silently reflect. You're welcome.
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Jake Fogelnest
@jakefogelnest
Professional. Husband to nice lady. Dad to Tallulah. 3x Emmy loser (so far). In Stereo (Where Available). For business stuff contact: The Gersh Agency.
Jake Fogelnest’s Tweets
As much as I hate this pandemic, it does keep canceling Burning Man.
You're all acting awfully damn casual about this total eclipse of the sun.
I could write a million jokes about Charles Manson. And believe me, I REALLY want to! However:
Abigail Folger
Wojciech Frykowski
Steven Earl Parent
Sharon Tate
Jay Sebring
Leno La Bianca
Rosemary La Bianca
An excerpt of Blondie performing “Heart Of Glass” on “The Midnight Special” I hope you have a pleasant day.
After speaking to my good friend Ian MacKaye, we will only be charging $5 for Twitter Blue.
7 minutes ago, I saw a meme. I’m sorry, I could not remain silent. The idea here is quite romantic, but I had to bring it back to harsh reality. I am not looking for a discussion or argument on this.
You can get an AR-15 faster than you can buy an iPhone X. And the AR-15 is cheaper. That’s the news. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Maybe instead of dressing up in “sexy” outfits and taking molly, you kids might want to just stay in and listen to Carole King’s “Tapestry.”
I think it’s important to remember that did a cover of The Soft Boys “I Wanna Destroy You” with the Circle Jerks. I don’t want this lost to history. This was awesome and it’s why I’m here on Twitter. To remind you things like this happened.
Saw that Carlos Santana was trending. Thought the worst, but it turns out he's be signed by the Philadelphia Phillies. Not sure why they would sign a 70 year-old legendary guitar player to their baseball team, but I will absolutely be watching some games to find out.
I just disrupted a high school production of "Grease." Wasn't about politics, I just had some notes. Girl playing Rizzo wasn't projecting!
I fully support Evan Rachel Wood. I haven’t hung out with Marilyn Manson in decades, but I know what I experienced when I was a teenager hanging around him. I also know my friend Jennifer Syme died driving drunk to his house in 2001. The party has been over a LONG time, Brian.
Happy 73rd Birthday to Tim Curry. Apologies if you've seen this already, but I feel it's important to share this video of him performing in 1979 to a TV audience of disinterested Germans. He is unalarmed, if not bemused by their indifference. He is Tim Curry. Thank you.
If this was the first line of text in the opening crawl of the new “Star Wars” movie, I would be there opening night.
Talked to my mom. She said they didn’t really have “gender reveal parties” back in 1979, but they did once have a party with really good Quaaludes. People just sat around listening to a Linda Ronstadt album.
On set here, making sure all safety protocols are being followed as we prep to shoot Kevin Spacey’s Christmas message. It has been an honor to direct these and I’m excited for you to see the next one.
“The End of the F***ing World” raises the f***ing bar. Watch this show f***ing immediately.
I am very worried about NBC's upcoming live production of THE WIZ.
Another thing Nancy Reagan just said "NO" to, was helping people dying of AIDS. Anyway, here she is with ALF.
Robert Fogelnest. August 29th, 1946 - February 6th, 2022. Pictured with Keanu Reeves. I will not be providing context to this photo because it’s way funnier that way. I love you, Dad. I will miss you.
George Romero's "Night Of The Living Dead" was one of the six midnight movies that changed the world. Hope to see you again. As the undead.
Hello. Please watch this video of Tim Curry performing in 1979 to an audience of disinterested Germans. He is immune, if not amused by their utter indifference. Thank you.
So sorry to do this again, but it's time for that clip of Tim Curry on Musikladen trying to get a bunch of disinterested Germans to "boogie" with him. They want no part of it, but Tim is unaffected. I continue to post this because I've yet to find anything better than this clip.
I like when they used to let this weird hippie go on TV, smoking a cigarette and do a thing he invented called “bubble magic.” I don’t know if they’d let this happen today? Anyway, I heard the Iowa Caucus had some issues. There, now this is topical.
Is Ted Cruz cranking his hog to porno on 9/11 more or less weird than a person who looks up to see what Ted Cruz "likes" on Twitter on 9/11?
Mr and Mrs. Fogelnest were married today at a private COVID-19 safe ceremony in beautiful Encino, California. We have been planning this for almost a year. No, we’re not pregnant, jerk! Yes, she’s Jewish. I am the luckiest man in the world. I love you, Deb. ❤️
This video addresses everything that needs to be said right now.
It's "Gaslight" meets "Spotlight" meets "All The President's Men." is beyond a tremendous journalist. newyorker.com/news/news-desk
What if I just started texting random guys I know the "Cat Person" story from The New Yorker and said, "Dude, I think this is based on you!" Would really shake up Sunday Morning.
Goodbye, Tom Petty. From all your friends at Ridgemont High and all of us who loved you around the world.
I shared this earlier. In the wake of the Louis CK story, I did not want it lost in the shuffle that Dana and Julia did an amazing show at Aspen. We ALL knew what happened after. I’m glad they finally shared THEIR story on THEIR terms.
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Dana and Julia’s show at the 2002 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival remains one of the funniest, craziest, most hilarious and daring things I have ever seen on stage.
Here are the opening credits to the Dutch version of "The Golden Girls" which premiered in the Netherlands in 2012.
Today is George Harrison's birthday. Brilliant guitar player. Incredible songwriter. Deeply spiritual man. Bit of a coke problem in the 70s.
Everyone that knew Trevor Moore and works in comedy can't even make dark jokes on text about his passing. It says a lot about how loved he was. Usually it takes about 10 seconds before someone makes a joke. It's what comedians do. Sorry, Trevor. Feels like we're letting you down.
#IAmAFeminist because I know just by tweeting this hashtag, sad angry men will search it and then write awful things to women online.
Every year I tweet on my anniversary and I'm continuing that tradition. Tomorrow will be 12 years. I'm incredibly grateful. Sometimes you can get "comfortable" in your recovery though. It's time for me to dig deeper. One day at a time of course, but I'm ready to get more real.
I am going to the movies by myself. Anyone who says they don't like to go to the movies by themselves is a goddamn lunatic.
People online are still mad about the “Ghostbusters” being women.
What if Lorde just read Fiona Apple's "This World Is Bullshit" speech word for word, but this time, everyone got it?
I was able to sneak into Disney and capture some brief footage on my cell phone of the next “Star Wars” movie. Please share before this is taken down!
If only The Ramones were alive to record a song called "I Don't Wanna Listen To Bono."
By the way I'm working on an edgy reboot of "E.T." In the new movie E.T. fucks. Like... A LOT.
Please help. I am sitting at home with my wife and all the members of Gogol Bordello just burst through the door. They are not social distancing. The music is fun, but we are worried about our health.
They gave Steve Harvey a judge show. He says at the top of the show that he’s NOT a judge. So, there are people who have small legal disputes and they have elected to let Steve Harvey decide the outcome of these disputes. My takeaway? We will not be curing Covid anytime soon.
I am thankful today for this event taking place. Over 30 years later the people who did it have never been caught. I’m thankful for other things of course, but I’m being honest? Mostly this. twitter.com/SilverAgeTV/st
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Happy Birthday today to Bob Dylan and Vine star Carter Reynolds.
Stop. Using. Songs. In. Movies. That. Have. Been. Used. In. Other. Movies.
If I handed in a terrible 500 page script with scribbles all over it at the last minute, I would get fired.
Let people express their grief on social media. It’s cathartic for a lot of folks and one of the good things about this thing. Performative mourning is different, but people reaching out to each other - that’s not bad, that’s good. Feel free to ignore me. I’m for more kindness.
Just came from the secret meeting all the feminists have and they have agreed to stop. The memes worked. You got to them with the memes.
What better way to celebrate Tim Curry's 74th birthday by once again sharing this clip of him attempting to get a studio audience of Germans to "boogie" with him while they would rather sit politely and enjoy his antics? Happy Birthday, Tim Curry. I will never stop posting this.
I don't know why they're not cutting to him, but this is the guy ringing the bell at the #GOPDebate.
I have FINALLY started production on a documentary about the Fyre Festival. Can't wait to share it with you all next year.
“We are going to Malta with Robert Altman, Harry Nilsson and that kid who plays Mork. It’s going to be Paramount’s ‘Superman.’ Of course I’m on cocaine. We ALL are! Lots of it. Am I’m crazy? You bet your ass I am. It’s a go picture. Wire more money.” - Robert Evans
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Democrats and Republicans: I urge you to come together, put your differences aside for a moment... and watch XANADU!
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I just said to my wife “Ray Liotta died” and she shouted back “Baby Yoda died?!” I cleared up the confusion. Not the most moving tribute, but it happened.
How shocking would it be if Oprah ended her speech by shouting BABA BOOEY?
I just started "Big Little Lies" and if I keep working hard enough, I hope I can be just like these people one day!
What people don't realize is, Ryan Lochte was mugged by the same neo-nazis who attacked Morton Downey, Jr. This joke is for 7 people.
Why was Werner Herzog at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards last night?
Happy 35th Anniversary to “Heavy Metal Parking Lot.” Thank you and John Heyn for going to the parking lot of a Judas Priest concert in Suburban Maryland on May 31st, 1986. You caught lightning in a bottle.
Obama's first order of business after this will be to have a goddamn cigarette. Even Michelle will be like, "okay, fine you get ONE."
Today is 14 years for me. ❤️ I am going to keep going because it just keeps getting better. I am beyond grateful. I’m doing my best to stay safe and sane and help others. I‘m also prepared with the latest technology from . Duty now for the future. One day at a time.
Who is a person (not counting family) that closed doors for you in your career when they didn’t have to? No time is a good time to show resentment! Write the names down on paper, light them on fire and flush them down the toilet.
It's shameful the way people treat on here. His death has been faked many times. The truth is he just loves to wear diapers.
I would like to wish Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark a Merry Christmas. Yes, she is normally associated with Halloween, but I think it would be nice if we ALL wished her a Merry Christmas. Use hashtag #MerryXmasElvira to show your support.
I talked to Instagram and I asked them to move all the buttons around to new places and make it all weird. They truly went above and beyond. Thanks, Instagram!
No one was funnier. No one was kinder. The news of Gilbert Gottfried’s passing leaves me at a loss for words, something Gilbert never had. All my love goes out to his wife Dara, their two children and all of Gilbert’s family and many, many friends. This was the first time we met.
Here it is. The shot-for-shot remake of The Rolling Stones "Start Me Up" music video I directed starring as MICK! Jon worked with the choreographer Rami Malek used on "Bohemian Rhapsody" to get the moves like Jagger. We hope you enjoy. #CheerMeUp
I was given an advance preview of the poem Bono wrote about Ukraine that Nancy Pelosi will be reading later today. Here it is:
I've been sober a LONG time and I'd just like to let everyone in Los Angeles know you're all doing a TERRIBLE job of secretly using cocaine.
If I’m ever elected office, I will ask to be sworn in on a copy of “The Secret Diary Of Laura Palmer.”
Original tweet written: 12/12/11. Headline published: 12/10/13. http://t.co/PvRnyW5U2g
I found this old tape at a record store today. This is the only thing that was on it. I hope I'm not invading the privacy of the two girls who recorded this in what I'm guessing was 1985. Thank you, Jane and Beth! I'm also a big Madonna fan.
