ok not to generalize but i think the reply people who are going "GUHHHHHH????" at the very idea of setting emotional boundaries in friendships have never had any experienced in communities with lots of traumitized people
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I think this is less about not wanting to listen to someone's problems and more about avoiding a dynamic of dependence where you become the default outlet for someone
My mother calls that being a doormat. Part of navigating the world is setting your own boundaries rather than expecting everyone else to accommodate you. It sucks but if you can't tell a whiner to fuck off gently how are you going to break up with someone
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I think a lot of this kind of thing is putting off a hard conversation now in favor of having a much worse conversation later
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