ok not to generalize but i think the reply people who are going "GUHHHHHH????" at the very idea of setting emotional boundaries in friendships have never had any experienced in communities with lots of traumitized people
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the reason you should set these boundaries in advance is bc it's really easy to enable someone to be dependent on you for this unintentionally
The traditional remedy is a conversation about what's appropriate within the context. That's a shitty conversation but you can't just make a bunch of out-front regulations about how people should interact and expect that to solve the issue of clueless dorks oversharing
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I think this is less about not wanting to listen to someone's problems and more about avoiding a dynamic of dependence where you become the default outlet for someone
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