ok not to generalize but i think the reply people who are going "GUHHHHHH????" at the very idea of setting emotional boundaries in friendships have never had any experienced in communities with lots of traumitized people
The problem is only the people who would have respected a "no" will ask in advance/if you don't want to listen to someone's struggles maybe the issue is that they think you're friends when you aren't, and that's the angle you should take
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the reason you should set these boundaries in advance is bc it's really easy to enable someone to be dependent on you for this unintentionally
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The traditional remedy is a conversation about what's appropriate within the context. That's a shitty conversation but you can't just make a bunch of out-front regulations about how people should interact and expect that to solve the issue of clueless dorks oversharing
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