wife: Why is your back all scratched up? [flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone] me: I'm having an affair
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Monkey see...
End of conversation
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@Sassafrantz I don't really get it, but my friend, who's whipped just like that, laughed really hard. So I RT'd for him.
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@Canadian_Cutie_ what if you were having an affair WITH a
#raccoon?pic.twitter.com/wfwL6addLL
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this is fucking amazing
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@tricyclerunaway Did the raccoon have red fake nails???
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@crafra1 this strikes me as something you'd do/say@iwearaonesie@whatsbobgonnadoThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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