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I wish there was a Krispy Kreme closer to me. Life would be great, though I’d also probably have diabetes
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Mid 2000s indie rock slaps so fucking hard
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The song Beautiful by Christina Aguilera is so aggressively early 2000s
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If a guy’s default pic on Tinder is a pic of his dog you just KNOW he’s gotta be ugly af
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My friend just told me that her ex called her “Bird” as a pet name and I’m fucking dying why would let any guy call you BIRD
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Stop trying to make Super Likes happen Tinder, they’re never going to happen
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Me: Let’s go to bed early tonight and get a good night’s sleep! My brain: LOL nope let’s have a mental breakdown at 12:30 at night
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Geese are like nature’s trucks cause they honk
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The “covid 19 will disappear after the election” crowd has been real quiet
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The Hunger Games except instead of the sound of a cannon every time a tribute dies it’s just “mmmmm whatcha say”
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“I’m only losing cause they’re counting all the votes against me!” I feel your pain
@realDonaldTrump I’m only broke cause my bank takes away the money I spend. The AUDACITY!Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Can't they play ANYTHING else but country in this bar?
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All these bush people are missing teeth I don't get it do dentists not exist in Alaska?
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Spending my Friday night watching Alaskan Bush People
#turndownforwhatThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
The middle aged people at bars trying to be young never cease to entertain me
#momdancingThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Saw cute dog on Instagram. Almost started squealing. Remembered that I was in public.
#justadayinthelifeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Maybe if I awkwardly stare at that cute guy at the bar long enough he'll come talk to me
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Eternally hungry.
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"This girl looks like Amanda Binds in schizophrenia mode"
@CLesser11Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Why don't I ever have plans on my good hair days
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