Lady Murderface

@itsa_talia

comedy • writing • scott baio blocked me cuz he boinked my mom in high school // written for ...and you, my best friend.

san francisco
taliajane.com
Participa desde agosto de 2010
875 Fotos e vídeos Fotos e vídeos

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  2. Retweetou
    9 de abr

    03:36 - 9 de abr de 2016 · Detalhes
    204 retweets 665 curtiram
  3. Retweetou
    Há 10 horas

    When you and bae gonna fuck

    23:09 - 10 de abr de 2016 · Detalhes
    4 retweets 27 curtiram
  4. Há 10 horas

    that's good & healthy. I used to do it three times a week until he blocked me

    What about liking an ancient photo of your crush's instagram by accident alerting them you creeping on them?!
    3 curtiram
  5. Há 10 horas

    disease? poverty? famine? war? doesn't even come close to the calamity & despair of liking your own pics on instagram

    Ver conversa Ocultar conversa
    4 curtiram
  6. Há 10 horas

    if I had the chance to have no male egos in my life I would literally never stop orgasming

    you probably need different male egos in your life. Or none at all... your choice.
    1 retweet 12 curtiram
  7. Há 10 horas

    imagine something worse than liking your own instagram pictures lol just kidding, it's impossible, that is literally the worst thing

    1 retweet 10 curtiram
  8. Há 10 horas

    oh wait I was using cards against humanity lol whoops no my real tarot spread says I'm ....gunna die in 3 days....?!

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    13 curtiram
  9. Há 11 horas

    my tarot spread just told me im a punk ass lil bitch ?

    7 curtiram
  10. Há 13 horas

    a 500 year old faberge egg that will dissolve into dust if touched is less fragile than the male ego

    5 retweets 36 curtiram
  11. Há 16 horas

    I love that I don't even need a name to know this is

    17:37 - 10 de abr de 2016 · Detalhes
    8 curtiram
  12. Há 17 horas

    didn't have chicken broth but had bouillon cubes but added too many & my congee tastes like kfc gravy & it's the best failing up ever done

    18 curtiram
  13. Há 17 horas

    an update on

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  14. Há 18 horas

    nice marketing tactic ya got here

    we love to ruin cheerios for kids
    1 retweet 10 curtiram
  15. Há 18 horas

    i live a complicated and mostly depressing life. hahahaha!!

    ?
    6 curtiram
  16. Há 18 horas

    happy to the monsters who stole my dad from my life and helped him create his own perfect family without me! love ya!

    2 retweets 17 curtiram
  17. Há 19 horas

    thank you, old high school classmate I forgot I was Facebook friends with, for reminding me not to tell smart-ish jokes on Facebook

    2 retweets 14 curtiram
  18. Há 19 horas

    either this is petty overexcessive angry flexing or a subtle publicity boost to help the band get discovered

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    4 retweets 3 curtiram
  19. 10 de abr

    u could say love lifts us up where we belong. where eagles cry. on a mountain high. but ya know, u do u, frankie

    Love opens our eyes and enables us to see the great worth of a human being.
    7 curtiram
  20. Lady Murderface seguiu e
  21. Retweetou
    10 de abr

    i can't imagine anything worse than a standup comedy critic and once i got kicked so hard in the balls i pissed blood and was hospitalized

    11 retweets 95 curtiram

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