i n n e s

SIXTEEN???

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NUMBER IS THAT

i have had no reason to actually look into imperial measurements until now and frankly i immediately regret it finding this out

it makes some sense though because a pound is defined as being 7000 grains so that makes each ounce a nice round... 437.5 grains

and then, oh my word, oh my fucking actual god

GUESS HOW MANY POUNDS THERE ARE IN A STONE

you'll never get it, it would be fucking impossible to guess this

THERE ARE FOURTEEN POUNDS IN A STONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FUCKING NUMBER! FYI!!!!

THERE'S LITERALLY NO WAY TO KNOW HOW MANY OUNCES ARE IN A STONE!! NO-ONE CAN KNOW THIS

"but innes you can just multiply up the fourteen by sixteen and you'll g-" NO MATHS HAS CLEARLY ABANDONED US. NUMBERS MEAN NOTHING AT THIS POINT

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF ANTIQUATED JOKE SYSTEM ARE PEOPLE WORKING WITH

my mum: wow count yourself lucky you only need to learn your 10 times tables, when i was a kid we had to go up to 12 me, a child: oh, for weights and stuff? mum, a liar: sure

TURNS OUT NO-ONE ON THE PLANET IS TRAINED TO WORK WITH THESE FUCKED UP NUMBERS. THEY JUST MAKE STUFF UP. NO-ONE KNOWS HOW MUCH A POUND IS BECAUSE IF THEY'D EVER USED THIS BULLSHIT SYSTEM THERE WOULD BE RIOTS

and then how many ounces go in a cup?

WHICH FUCKING CUP, AMERICA

HOW DO YOU ALL OWN THE SAME SIZE OF CUP WHO HAS A MONOPOLY ON THE ONE GOOD CUP SIZE

PRESUMABLY THIS IS JUST STRAIGHT UP BULLSHIT TOO TO COVER FOR THE FACT THAT NO-ONE KNOWS HOW MANY ANY QUANTITY OF ANYTHING IS

me: so, the recipe calls for 2 lbs 3 oz of flour, you got that? you: uhhhh, sure. yeah. that's like... 3 cups, probably. this is a great system.

AND THEN THEN WE HIT THE BIG NUMBERS

PRESUMABLY. I ASSUME THAT'S THE ORDER WE'RE GOING IN

though judging from american dates IT IS KINDA HARD TO TELL

so what's heavier, a ton of feathers or a ton of gold?

IT'S THE TON OF GOLD BECAUSE UNDER IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS THESE ARE COMPLETELY FUCKING DIFFERENT SCALES

SEE ALSO: WOOL, COINS, MYSTERY ENGLISH ILLEGAL POUND, MISCELLANEOUS

THE ONE JOKE WHICH MAKES IT CLEAR THAT MASS IS A UNIVERSAL METHOD OF COMPARISON REGARDLESS OF MATERIAL HAS NO BEARING ON THE FUCKED UP BIZARRO WORLD OF YESTERDAY THAT IS THE IMPERIAL SYSTEM

I AM 30 YEARS OLD

I'VE GONE MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE BELIEVING THE IMPERIAL SYSTEM WAS DIFFERENT, SURE, BUT I THOUGHT IT HAD AT LEAST SOME GROUNDING IN REALITY

but NO

I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW