First I *totally* get how you can stand in front of the Pyramids of Giza and think “2.5 million blocks for Great Pyramid- some weighing between 25-80 tons? And 480 ft tall? And perfectly oriented? Like no WAY could anyone have done this in 2580 BC.” But here’s the thing...
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All y’all have cell phones. Android or Apple or whatever. And version 5.0 or 10.0 with whatever software. Did aliens build your cellphones? Of course not that’s bonkers! And guess what? In the 1980s we had THESE babies as cellphones. Suuuper expensive. Still no aliens...pic.twitter.com/rLYNaHleLc
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And guess what remember THESE? Pay phones! And rotary at that. Ugh what a pain to wait for that dial to go around. And before THAT you had to call an operator and get them tp connect you. Was any of that aliens? HELL to the NO.pic.twitter.com/kdx7VBxP5o
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And before THAT Alexander Graham Bell- in 1876- invented the phone. No aliens, just long slow evolution of technology...153 years...to get our cell phones, all connected to every advance in tech possible (mining, space, chips, trade). NO ALIENS EVER.pic.twitter.com/5WfiL4GirX
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Things evolve over time- that means change- shape, form, function. Everything does. No aliens, just how things have been for thousands of years. Long and slow process. And in Egypt, everything began with simple shallow burials in the desert (Gotta grab dinner, BRB)
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(Am back *burp*). Meet Ginger, from the
@britishmuseum simple burial from Egypt with pottery from 3400 BC, some *800* years BEFORE GIZA. A) Nothing alien about putting bodies in the ground with material culture B) We are talking 800 YEARS to get from simple burials to pyramidspic.twitter.com/tvhiVJZW5B
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Well shallowly buried humans means animals can get at them as well as other humans who want the grave goods...basic logic, no aliens needed. The holes get deeper, and they start covering the burials with wood/stone. Still no aliens needed.
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Flash forward 150 years. Egypt has developed and there are regional power centers at places like Abydos and Heirakonpolis. Local rulers have gotten more powerful, that means more goodies in their burials. Any of this sound like aliens? Nope? Good.
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Well guess what? You need multiple rooms/chambers to put all your grave goods- pots and offerings and furniture and in some cases your retainers went with you (bummer for them). So tombs got bigger...and we see this at Abydos, burial place of Egypt’s kings from Dyn 1, 3200 BC
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This is Umm el Qaab, Abydos. You can see how the tombs evolve over time! Multiple chambers, enclosure walls. A literal map of how things changed over 100 years! NO ALIENS (map courtesy UCL) https://www.ucl.ac.uk/museums-static/digitalegypt/abydos/abydoskingscemetery.html …pic.twitter.com/s7nSjpmq3k
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Early tombs were covered with timber and matting, but eventually, the superstructures (structures above the tombs) changed from mudbrick to stone! Easy jump- stone=durable and protects tomb. This is what we call a “Mastaba” Example here- shaft tomb below. NADA ALIENS YETpic.twitter.com/RPxyvkCxhn
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We have larger tombs structures with multiple chambers, tomb goods, burial places for rulers, even stone structures. “OH WAIT” you say. “I GOT YOU THESE ARE TINY AND WHAT ABOUT SIZE SO ALIENS HAD TO HELP.” Bitch please. Meet the Shunet ez Zebib (2700 BC) OH WE GETTIN CLOSEpic.twitter.com/QrfCArdzVl
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137m x 77m, 12m tall walls. Mahoosive. 2nd Dynasty *time period of father of Djoser 2686 BC and GUESS WHAT same guy that builds Shunet, Kasekhemwy, also builds a BIG ASS enclosure wall at Saqqara. We ready. We got everything we need save an ancient Steve Jobs. MEET IMHOTEPpic.twitter.com/fhyK1sGPZq
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OK not that Imhotep! We all can agree that our modern world is due to many geniuses. Not MF’in aliens. Imhotep was an early one. He took the enclosure, tomb, multiple chambers, deeper shaft, burial goods, mastaba ALL THE THINGS + went NEXT LEVELhttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imhotep
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Imhotep designed a complex built entirely out of stone, with a giant mastaba tomb for Djoser. All good... except Djoser was EXTRA. Like, extra extra extra extra. He took the mastaba and said “Imma stack ‘em sum bitches.” 4x. And LO here is the result STILL NO ALIENS GURLpic.twitter.com/SQXjACuwAg
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And over the next 30-50 (feral hog) years (c’mon it works) we see other additions and changes and the complexes get bigger *as Egypt consolidates its state power and develops a craftsmen class* and in 2580 BC, Giza Pyramids get built. NO ALIENS JUST LOGIC+ HUMAN INGENUITY
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If after all this explanation and logic and images and evidence of 800 years of slow development from simple desert burials to pyramid complexes you still think it’s aliens, go shove a 1940 rotary phone up your racist ass+ take a long look in the mirror. I can’t help you. FIN
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