CC:IndecisionVerified account

Donald Trump says he'll decide about running for president early next year, and America decided ages ago it wouldn't vote for Donald Trump.

Ebola czar Ron Klain used to be Joe Biden's chief of staff. Compared to that, controlling a virus should be easy.

All this #fangate chatter just distracts from the real issues. What is Charlie Crist's fan's position on Obamacare?

New poll: Only 42% of NJ voters have a favorable opinion of Chris Christie. The remaining 58% are still stuck in traffic.

Happy Columbus Day! In other news, we totally just discovered this cool thing called Twitter.

"Ebola is a serious threat to my health!" -An American watching cable news while eating another bucket of cheesy bacon poppers.

It's unclear if Mitt Romney is running for president in 2016. Of course, sometimes it was unclear if he was running for president in 2012.

The White House intruder made it farther inside than the Secret Service reported, AND he didn't even take off his shoes.

Eric Holder is resigning. Now he'll have more time to spend with his mustache.

Congress would love to debate military action against ISIS right now, but they've, uh, gotta wash their hair.

President Obama's foreign policy approval rating has fallen to 34%. Time to send troops to support One Direction.

"Seduction used to be an art," says Rush Limbaugh, a man who's been making sweet love to his own ego for years.

This Thursday, Scotland could win independence from the UK. But it'll never free itself from the memory of Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

Mark Sanford broke up with his girlfriend & wrote a 2300-word Facebook rant. Definitely still electable - for jr. high student council.

Sarah Palin's family was reportedly involved in a drunken party scandal. Coincidentally, that's what got Sarah Palin on the 2008 ticket.

Sat through Obama's speech. Where's our free U2 album?

Washington DC: It's Never #NewDistrictMottos. Sigh. #NewStateMottos

Obama's supposed to announce his ISIS strategy tonight. And if he still doesn't have one, he can just recap Sons of Anarchy.

Obama in Estonia: "Ukraine needs more than words." So... a certain hand gesture aimed at Russia?

Glenn Beck says Hillary Clinton will win in 2016. Sounds like somebody's angling for a VP nod!