Spider bit me in the eye yesterday morning and now it's all swollen. I look retarded. Good excuse to stay home and work all weekend I guess.
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Replying to @cactusquid
@cactusquid no you should use it as an excuse to go shoplifting.1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @increpare
@increpare Do retards get away with shoplifting?2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
Replying to @cactusquid
@cactusquid No idea, but you could compartmentalise the act in your conscience "that wasn't the real me, that was swollen me. I'm innocent"
6:09 AM - 17 Aug 2012
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