It's a good question. My guess is it's a mix of both. It's probably genuinely harder for boys to manage themselves to do the work to learn, but also they're likely to be less willing to do so.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki
my fear is just that a bad system trying to make people better will make them worse; would hate if girls do better in school bc they have a smaller sense of agency and we reacted by “helping” boys have less agency too.
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Replying to @maybegray
Yeah my actual preferred policy solution doesn't really look like the originating take. I do think there are some ways in which girls do better. I do think there are some ways boys do better. I'm not really sure what to do about it, but think we're failing both.
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @maybegray
One tricky thing is that the ways boys have more agency is not actually good for them in the long run, because it leads directly into the individualistic thing where men can't talk about their feelings
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Replying to @GeniesLoki @maybegray
Individualism and talking about feelings are compatible. How does agency directly lead to not being able to talk about one's feelings? I would have thought it would make it easier.
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most peoples conception of individualism is that it means not relying on other people given that you are not relying on someone, telling them your feelings is usually counterproductive at best relying on people is a sign that you aren't capable of standing on your own
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Why does expressing one's feelings imply relying on someone? Why would it be counter-productive? (I can imagine it being counter-productive if you're seeking a specific reaction + not open to other reactions. But if you own your feelings, seems fine/cool?)
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communicating feelings is usually a request for help, in some fashion if the goal is to seem competent, then sharing feelings feels like incompetence you can look good at dealing with emotions by either denying/bottling or well-practiced communication ...
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Replying to @imhinesmi @reasonisfun and
...many men dont have a safe environment to practice having feelings in (in the same way there are safe environments where you can be bad at cooking, say) so they pretend they've always been competent
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I agree, but because they get punished if they do.
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i dont think there's actually any disagreement here having a culture of [thing] implies punishing people who dont do [thing] whats important is that [thing] and "[thing]" can be very different
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