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imhinesmi's profile
ian hines
ian hines
ian hines
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ian hines

@imhinesmi

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    1. GeniesLoki‏ @GeniesLoki Mar 29
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      OK, this is the worst plausible take that my brain has ever handed me. You're going to hate it. I hate it. Given the evidence of difference in school performance and maturation rates, we should treat being male as a learning disability and support it as such.

      43 replies 10 retweets 123 likes
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    2. is this  🦋 me‏ @maybegray Mar 29
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      Replying to @GeniesLoki

      does being male get in the way of learning or does it just get in the way of being tamed? is the gap really because of academic issues or is it there because boys have more issues with authority? genuine questions, haven’t read anything on this lately

      2 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
    3. GeniesLoki‏ @GeniesLoki Mar 29
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      Replying to @maybegray

      It's a good question. My guess is it's a mix of both. It's probably genuinely harder for boys to manage themselves to do the work to learn, but also they're likely to be less willing to do so.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
    4. is this  🦋 me‏ @maybegray Mar 29
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      Replying to @GeniesLoki

      my fear is just that a bad system trying to make people better will make them worse; would hate if girls do better in school bc they have a smaller sense of agency and we reacted by “helping” boys have less agency too.

      2 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
    5. GeniesLoki‏ @GeniesLoki Mar 29
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      Replying to @maybegray

      Yeah my actual preferred policy solution doesn't really look like the originating take. I do think there are some ways in which girls do better. I do think there are some ways boys do better. I'm not really sure what to do about it, but think we're failing both.

      2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
    6. GeniesLoki‏ @GeniesLoki Mar 29
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      Replying to @GeniesLoki @maybegray

      One tricky thing is that the ways boys have more agency is not actually good for them in the long run, because it leads directly into the individualistic thing where men can't talk about their feelings

      3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
    7. Lulie‏ @reasonisfun Mar 29
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      Replying to @GeniesLoki @maybegray

      Individualism and talking about feelings are compatible. How does agency directly lead to not being able to talk about one's feelings? I would have thought it would make it easier.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. ian hines‏ @imhinesmi Mar 29
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      Replying to @reasonisfun @GeniesLoki @maybegray

      most peoples conception of individualism is that it means not relying on other people given that you are not relying on someone, telling them your feelings is usually counterproductive at best relying on people is a sign that you aren't capable of standing on your own

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. Lulie‏ @reasonisfun Mar 29
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      Replying to @imhinesmi @GeniesLoki @maybegray

      Why does expressing one's feelings imply relying on someone? Why would it be counter-productive? (I can imagine it being counter-productive if you're seeking a specific reaction + not open to other reactions. But if you own your feelings, seems fine/cool?)

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      ian hines‏ @imhinesmi Mar 29
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      Replying to @reasonisfun @GeniesLoki @maybegray

      communicating feelings is usually a request for help, in some fashion if the goal is to seem competent, then sharing feelings feels like incompetence you can look good at dealing with emotions by either denying/bottling or well-practiced communication ...

      10:48 AM - 29 Mar 2020
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      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        1. New conversation
        2. Lulie‏ @reasonisfun Mar 29
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          Replying to @imhinesmi @GeniesLoki @maybegray

          Request for help — AKA leadership?

          2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Lulie‏ @reasonisfun Mar 29
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          Replying to @reasonisfun @imhinesmi and

          (I think the people I've sewn who are best at expressing feelings do *not* by default do it in a requesting-help way. They're just expressing themselves, and letting people react how they may. And if they do want help, they ask explicitly.)

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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        2. ian hines‏ @imhinesmi Mar 29
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          Replying to @imhinesmi @reasonisfun and

          ...many men dont have a safe environment to practice having feelings in (in the same way there are safe environments where you can be bad at cooking, say) so they pretend they've always been competent

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Lulie‏ @reasonisfun Mar 29
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          Replying to @imhinesmi @GeniesLoki @maybegray

          I agree, but because they get punished if they do.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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