https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/the-nuclear-family-was-a-mistake/605536/ …
h/t @david_perell
i have Thoughts on family structure, theyre probably wrong but theyre mine
(thread/story, i dont get around to Thoughts until tweet 6)
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1/ i was lucky enough to have a mom and a dad and a sister and two grandmas and two grandpas and 7 aunts and an uncle and a gazillion cousins and entirely too many greataunts and greatuncles (i still dont know any of their names sorry) growing up, and affable relations generally
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2/ we all got together for thanksgiving and christmas and funerals and sometimes other things i dont think i take advantage of the resources this gives me enough but i think it does grant me a certain peace of mind, knowing that if i fuck up horribly itll be okay
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3/ so we all lived in michigan, until 4 years ago, when i moved to alabama for college (i didnt have to pay, you see) now ive never been particularly good about socializing so i barely did combine with incredible skill at ignoring my emotions and i could pretend i wasnt lonely
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4/ and then dad got a new job in utah so now going to visit the family for holidays meant just the four of us, instead of two dozen this kind of Sucks and i dont think about it much because most of the time it isnt the holidays
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5/ but i cant help but wonder now: what if family was around more? most of them are decently smart and capable of holding a good conversation i bet being around the younger cousins would be good experience for parenting the older ones can (and do) give good advice and guidance
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6/ i realize that not everyone has good relatives this is a Problem and the article talks about solutions towards the end (no really read it) i think this is what raemon et al are on about over at lesswrong the bay area rat community seems to have found a workable solution
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7/ what im curious about is how well does that scale finding good people to build a life around is not a trivial task there are people who are terrible to room with, and ive lived with a truly terrible roommate
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8/ so the question is, how do you filter people who youll enjoy living with? i think there a lot more people who are generally decent and good to be around than i am generally willing to admit the secret is to be willing to try
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9/ i think ive managed to cultivate a good enough twitter sphere that id be willing to try with just about any of my mutuals and thats the magic of the internet you can make a wonderful Ingroup
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10/ im not sure why but visiting other peoples homes has always been a Big Deal for me i dont think this is ideal let them know first, but people actually like having friends over and its not an imposition this feels related somehow
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