concept: epistemic allergies certain ways of transmitting information make me instantly think the information wrong mostly coming from certain word/tone choices
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The lens I would offer here, is to bring in -- what is the purpose of each specific conversation / interaction? Trying to solve this question of "what one ought to do" in a general / "objective" / "universal" case will be more difficult than the specific - or even intractable.
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If you're considering whether or not to continue interacting with someone, and you feel your epistemic allergies activating -- what's the context of this scene? Do you have an ongoing relationship with them? Do y'all value that? Do you have a sense of shared purpose?
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It's also a privilege to discuss topics 'intellectually' that may be personally truamatising.