this is a Pattern i feel like an absolute clown every time i think about it
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i just want to say that i greatly appreciate how my mentions have people giving good advice to Solve the Problem
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When the pandemic passes, speak at conferences. People will talk to you, after. Easier.
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but then i have to talk at conferences this seems worse than a 1on1
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I've been in the same place. Working on practicing the affect of curiosity towards others is really helpful: http://agentyduck.blogspot.com/2015/05/tortoise-report-3-empathy_16.html …
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oh man this is some powerful stuff, thanks
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The way I see it, there are two angles to this: getting better at socialising, and getting more comfortable with socialising. Surprisingly they are quite disconnected; I improved a lot on the former axis without improving on the latter. --
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yeah this sounds right lot more fear than incompetence going on i think
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My meta-solution: train yourself to look forward to fear I started by intermittently identifying the scary / vulnerable thing to do and then counting "3 2 1 do it" in my head The results were so good now I can't stop
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And the ur-hack: "the resistance is the solution." Find yourself in an awkward bind in a conversation? Just call it out and own the emotion: "Ack – I'm sorry, I really wanted to connect with you and I feel like I messed that up and now I'm feeling afraid"
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