Related: If you expect the other person to think you hate them, you are hesitant and cautious while bringing up "this wasn't enjoyable" They can interpret this as "you are feeling hesitant because you're telling me you hate me, and this is distressing"https://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1232705598451601409 …
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I think this sorta loop is a HUGE part of how these sorts of relationships are reinforced. When I've been able to share in a matter of fact voice "yeah, that sucked, but I care about you and wanted to help" things have gone much better
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example of strongly asserting a frame: A friend told my mom she was from India, and my mom told her she'd traveled in India before and really enjoyed it. The friend did a "Haha, well of course you'd say that, you wouldn't insult the place if I just told you I'm from there" .../
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.../ this was received with a shocked silence and then a bemused reassurance that, had my mom not enjoyed India, she would NOT have pretended to like it.
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I want to get better at boldly asserting a frame. A crass but effective way to do this might be "Let me remind you that I know what I think a lot better than you do. And if you thinking I'm fibbing cuz [reason], let me remind you that I consider it cowardly to lie for [reason]"
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Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) Retweeted Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)
I'm seeing this everywhere
sometimes i worry about saying I'm poly
The worry comes from "People will think it's excuse for being a fuck boi"
and the worry can be read by others as "This person knows they're a fuck boi and is sorta ashamed"https://twitter.com/natural_hazard/status/1232715900740083713?s=20 …Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) added,
Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) @natural_hazardRelated: If you expect the other person to think you hate them, you are hesitant and cautious while bringing up "this wasn't enjoyable" They can interpret this as "you are feeling hesitant because you're telling me you hate me, and this is distressing" https://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1232705598451601409 …Show this thread1 reply 0 retweets 2 likesShow this thread -
If you seem like you could be bullied/shamed/cajoled for some belief, you are more likely to receive that behavior.
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