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imhinesmi's profile
ian hines
ian hines
ian hines
@imhinesmi

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ian hines

@imhinesmi

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Joined May 2018

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    1. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) Retweeted Oranges (closed)

      Related: If you expect the other person to think you hate them, you are hesitant and cautious while bringing up "this wasn't enjoyable" They can interpret this as "you are feeling hesitant because you're telling me you hate me, and this is distressing"https://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1232705598451601409 …

      Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) added,

      Oranges (closed) @TheOrangeAlt
      oh god, I have finally formulated what I want from friends and what I'm almost never getting I want the freedom to say, for instance, "I didn't enjoy helping you but I'm still glad I did", and have it *taken as meant*
      Show this thread
      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      I think this sorta loop is a HUGE part of how these sorts of relationships are reinforced. When I've been able to share in a matter of fact voice "yeah, that sucked, but I care about you and wanted to help" things have gone much better

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      example of strongly asserting a frame: A friend told my mom she was from India, and my mom told her she'd traveled in India before and really enjoyed it. The friend did a "Haha, well of course you'd say that, you wouldn't insult the place if I just told you I'm from there" .../

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
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    4. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      .../ this was received with a shocked silence and then a bemused reassurance that, had my mom not enjoyed India, she would NOT have pretended to like it.

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
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    5. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      I want to get better at boldly asserting a frame. A crass but effective way to do this might be "Let me remind you that I know what I think a lot better than you do. And if you thinking I'm fibbing cuz [reason], let me remind you that I consider it cowardly to lie for [reason]"

      1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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    6. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) Retweeted Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)

      I'm seeing this everywhere 👀 sometimes i worry about saying I'm poly The worry comes from "People will think it's excuse for being a fuck boi" and the worry can be read by others as "This person knows they're a fuck boi and is sorta ashamed"https://twitter.com/natural_hazard/status/1232715900740083713?s=20 …

      Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) added,

      Hazard (a.k.a Twirl) @natural_hazard
      Related: If you expect the other person to think you hate them, you are hesitant and cautious while bringing up "this wasn't enjoyable" They can interpret this as "you are feeling hesitant because you're telling me you hate me, and this is distressing" https://twitter.com/TheOrangeAlt/status/1232705598451601409 …
      Show this thread
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)‏ @natural_hazard Feb 26
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      If you seem like you could be bullied/shamed/cajoled for some belief, you are more likely to receive that behavior.

      2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      Show this thread
      ian hines‏ @imhinesmi Feb 26
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      Replying to @natural_hazard

      🤔

      12:02 PM - 26 Feb 2020
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      • Hazard (a.k.a Twirl)
      0 replies 0 retweets 1 like

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