Like, beauty & status are supposed to be effortless. Being seen as actively wanting these things makes you have less of them, somehow? But they're skills you can cultivate. The people who are best at them obviously want them, by revealed preferences if nothing else.
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Maybe this is just because I'm a guy who's bad at The Social. So I've never really been liked by people, or thought of as pretty, or even had "being pretty" as an option. I bet girls who were popular in school would have a very different experience.
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I also want to be cool and sexy But even more than that I want to feel confident in who I am and accept myself regardless of whether I’m cool and sexy The older I get the more I realize that that’s the real golden ticket—fixation on external validation is a path to misery
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Oh yeah, definitely don't set your life up to satisfy other people. But... other people are good to have around and it's nice to admit that I want to make them happy and have fun with them.
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The fact that it's rarely admitted in some circles means that it's easier to do in those circles if you commit to it!
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hmmm this is encouraging
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