hmm i never do this and maybe it'd be good to go more in this direction here's something i'm super confused about y'all: i would like to gain sexual experience but i'm worried about attachments being formed and then dropped on both sides if i do it too casually. thoughts?https://twitter.com/maybegray/status/1227704435389980678 …
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also, everything i know about my sexuality so far (which is not a ton) suggests that i'm kinda incapable of casual sex, at least in the sense of needing a lot of emotional safety to be turned on. not sure how that's gonna work with a casual fling or w/e
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
I relate to this a lot around coming out and experimenting with my bisexuality- then especially I was very afraid that my drive to gain experience and validate my queerness wouldn’t mesh well with the rhythm of attachment in those relationships & I was terrified of hurting girls.
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Replying to @maybegray @QiaochuYuan
The need for emotional safety has been helpful for me; it has definitely kept me from doing things I would have ultimately regretted. It can be frustrating at the time to feel unsafe and have to say no even though on some level you feel horny and yearning, but tbh safety first.
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Replying to @maybegray
yeah i'm increasingly willing to trust my safety senses, def every time i ignore them it's a disaster, but then i get scared that i'll always have to put ludicrous amounts of effort into feeling safe and it just won't ever happen
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
it is worth the ludicrous amount of effort even if you never run out of fingers for your body count in this life imo. I have it on good authority that having slept w lots of ppl isn’t a hella fulfilling. no sex is always hotter than unsafe sex (even if it takes lots to feel safe)
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Replying to @maybegray
makes sense. female friend of mine once told me something like "yeah i didn't have a good sexual experience until after the first few hundred times" and i was just agape at *few hundred*
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being agape at someone's sexual history
feeling agape, the greek term for true love
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Replying to @imhinesmi @maybegray
oh not in a judgmental way at all, just like... compassion for her younger self who had to go through all that fumbling and get hurt a lot?
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