Ilan Kaplan

@IlanJKaplan

You can tell from the microphone in my picture that I like to say things loudly.

Joined January 2015
13 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Apr 11

    Even someone as despicable as Jeffrey Dahmer didn't murder and eat people

    1 like
  2. Apr 11

    Even someone as despicable as King Ferdinand II didn't force Jews and Muslims to convert or be expelled from Spain

    1 reply 5 likes
  3. Apr 11

    Even someone as despicable as Grand Moff Tarkin didn't destroy an entire planet

    3 likes
  4. Apr 11

    Even someone as despicable as Ramses II didn't enslave the Jewish people in ancient Egypt

    1 retweet 4 likes
  5. Apr 11

    Even someone as despicable as Jack the Ripper didn't murder several people in late 1800s London

    1 like
  6. Mar 24

    I just love travel. You probably wouldn't get it

    1 reply 1 like
  7. Feb 21

    Non-zero percent chance that is the protagonist of planet Earth

    2 likes
  8. Feb 20

    "Uranium" clarified: This thing called nuclear weapons and other things like lots of things are done with uranium including some bad things

    1 like
  9. 31 Dec 2016

    Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don't know what to do. Love!

    1 retweet 3 likes
  10. 25 Dec 2016

    Snapchat sent me a video of Santa on his sleigh but they said "Happy Holidays" so it could refer to Hanukkah, right?

  11. 25 Dec 2016

    My sister - "In Spanish, '-isimo' means AF"

    1 like
  12. 12 Dec 2016

    Seriously What the heck is wrong with you? Seriously, what?

    1 reply 5 likes
  13. 10 Dec 2016

    Omg again with you today?? You're a real pain in the tuchus

    1 like
  14. 5 Dec 2016

    Hey I'll give you 50 bucks to not be president

    1 retweet 8 likes
  15. 10 Nov 2016

    Hamilton was like his country: young, scrappy, and hungry. is like his: old, bloated, and wealthy

    1 retweet 5 likes
  16. 9 Nov 2016

    I'm at a loss for words. Except for those. And those.

    2 likes
  17. Retweeted
    4 Jun 2016

    I like my men like I like my Pantene conditioner-- with Indian cassia and purple fig

    2 retweets 4 likes
  18. Retweeted
    4 Jun 2016

    I like my men like I like my yogurt-- with fruit at the bottom

    1 retweet 1 like
  19. Retweeted
    4 Jun 2016

    I like my men like I like my steak-- free range, grass fed

    3 retweets 3 likes
  20. Retweeted
    4 Jun 2016

    I like my men like I like my whales-- humpback

    1 retweet 2 likes

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