HOW I FOUND OUT: an educational thread
I spent the morning offline. It’s so refreshing to do that once in a while! Why is “toad” trending? Like Toad of Toad Hall? I’ll just look...
*walks up with a teetering stack of large three-ring binders* Maureen, we've got some catching up to do.
OK, so, in 1981, Nintendo asked Shigeru Miyamoto, to design a new video game in the hopes of breaking into the US market after failing with a cabinet called Radar Scope.
this sounds important. I'll take notes.
Originally they wanted to get the rights to the Popeye cartoon characters, but they didn't get it. So instead of Bluto he designed a gorilla. Instead of Olive Oyl, he made a princess, and Popeye was a carpenter.
They named the game Donkey Kong and it was a total hit! Shigeru Miyamoto was a star, and they tasked him with making more games. After Donkey Kong Jr in 82 and DK3 in 83, he spun the carpenter out, made him a plumber, gave him a brother and boom: Mario Bros.
M-a-r-i-o B-r-o-s. Got it. Okay, continue.
OK, fast forward a couple years and Nintendo is poised to release the Nintendo Entertainment System, their first home console. Of course they're going to build it around their beloved plumber Mario. So Super Mario Brothers is born.
*turns page, writes* okay got it. Is there much more because I want to see why toad is trending. I like toads.
It's a total hit and it also expands this Mario world a bunch, introducing a ton of bit characters. One are these mushroom babies called the "Mushroom Retainers" who basically at the end of every level tell you that you gotta to a different castle.
But in Super Mario Bros 2, you can actually play as one of the Mushroom Retainers, and he's named Toad. He's super cute, and everyone loves him. In Super Mario 3, Toad lives in a little toadstool house and gives you extra lives and stuff. Toad's your friend!
That sounds adorable. You know, Toad is trending today. Is that the same Toad?
He's super great and goes on to be expanded as a character in the numerous Mario games and spinoffs over the years. He even gets a sister? girlfriend? something? named toadette who looks just like him but her mushroom head has mushroom pigtails. Seems sexist, but let's move on.
I'm looking at the trends, Dan, and I see Mario Cart is also trending. That must be the same Toad! It's nice that finally there is some fun news.
So I mentioned the Mario spinoffs. One, introduced in 1992 for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, outpaces all the others (sorry Paper Mario) it is called Mario Kart. It's go-kart racing, but with all the Mario characters you love.
We should play! That sounds like something 2018 can't ruin!
Mario Kart is *awesome* you can race against your friends, making it a perfect party game and just hella fun all the time. You can blow each other up, cut each other off, talk trash... it rules. Best video game ever.
The game has gone through EIGHT incarnations and on all eight, you know everyone's favorite adorable mushroom-headed character Toad has been right up there alongside Mario Luigi and all the others as a character! EVERYONE LOVES TOAD!!!!
I love this sound of this! I would like to play Toad!
Anyway, so fast-forward to today...
Is there a new game?!?!?!
Today is the day that we found out that adorable, loveable Toad, the cute little character with that spotted mushroom head...
!!!! LET'S PLAY WITH TOAD!
… looks exactly like Donald Trump's penis.
*sits* *flips back a page* *sits*
*stares at the wall for a moment*
*thinks for a long time*
*raises hand*
Yes, Maureen? Do you have a followup question?
Can we skip the chapter on Princess Peach?