Parents from immigrant backgrounds often have the tough love approach because everything has been more than difficult for them and they don’t want us to have the same struggle. I can relate to this. May your father Rest In Peace & thanks for sharing such a powerful story.
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I remember that tough love. I was too young to get it. We were immigrants too, for a father it’s all about protecting his family. You get it once you’re an adult. Wish it didn’t have to be that way, but I appreciate it now.
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Oh man. I struggle with self punishment a lot. A therapist once helped me see that the part of me that I was punishing actually needed a lot of love 'cause it was in pain. Forgive yourself. Don't repeat the story.
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May your soul find peace.
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I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive dad. I just want to tell you: I love you and that this is not your fault. I hope you find peace, but punishing yourself won't get you there. And you know what: if he's up there somewhere, he wouldn't want you to do it either.
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Still living with one, sadly!
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Wow. I was not expecting that ending. Oof!
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