Christian Shields

@humanshields

A silly sausage funding his hobbies and his family extracting the black stuff

A beer den, North East Scotlan
Joined February 2009
108 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    Mar 8

    I am wearing a cape.

    Every year, does the hard work so we don’t have to. Not all heros wear capes 🙏🏽
    20 replies 73 retweets 921 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    Feb 26

    Big it up for and for doing a great job filming boring old me. Just need a stylist and face ift and i'll be Hollywood material. Michell & Michal you rock!!

    Three for starting a business from Mark Reynolds of - creating 'epic bacon' in Aberdeenshire, Scotland - with assistance from .
    1 reply 2 retweets 6 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    Feb 18

    People with bad handwriting are like Scottish people. You know they’re speaking English and you understand stuff here and there but overall it’s a disaster.

    31 retweets 106 likes
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  4. Feb 12

    Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do!

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  5. Retweeted
    22 Oct 2014

    Need your help. Can anyone tell me if these are safe to eat?

    215 replies 1,735 retweets 1,649 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    Feb 4

    My friend Andy spent a year writing down everything he ate. He then arranged it in alphabetical order and read it out to a slow-running tape recorder. This is the extraordinary result. I am weeping.

    111 replies 415 retweets 949 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 28

    A man at the shops just asked me if my dog was ‘One of those Cockatoos?’… I just said yeah.

    3 replies 4 retweets 21 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Jan 12

    Nigel Farage here giving his official thoughts on this “Batman” that’s been plaguing Gotham.

    68 replies 2,783 retweets 8,460 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Jan 4

    Best homework answer ever.

    6 replies 244 retweets 802 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    I challenge you not to laugh at any of these, especially the Buster Keaton ones, courtesy of . Have a peaceful New Year

    ⚡️ “Best of 2017”
    Show this thread
    15 replies 158 retweets 519 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2017

    Cancer patient is trying to raise money for treatment overseas. The Sun wanted to write about it: 1. Look at his response 2. Please visit his page and give him the donation he deserves

    28 replies 1,486 retweets 2,302 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    10 Dec 2017

    Stay strong, Keaton. Don’t let them make you turn cold. I promise it gets better. While those punks at your school are deciding what kind of people they want to be in this world, how would you and your mom like to come to the Avengers premiere in LA next year?

    1:14
    This is Keaton Jones, he lives in Knoxville and he has a little something to say about bullying.
    Show this thread
    17,173 replies 260,173 retweets 976,717 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    14 Nov 2017

    When grandpa decides to teach the kids a lesson

    29 replies 1,384 retweets 2,148 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    25 Oct 2017

    This is the funniest shit I've ever seen

    1:38
    Incredible: Mortician At Career Day Tells Kids How To Search A Drowned Corpse For Pearls Before Teacher Realizes He Isn’t Anyone's Dad
    10 replies 182 retweets 1,201 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    26 Jul 2017

    Essential 1982 film on Fela Kuti, Nigerian Afrobeat pioneer and human rights activist (watch it online for free)

    3 replies 15 retweets 42 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    26 Jul 2017

    When you lied on your CV to get the shepherd job.

    1,405 replies 22,677 retweets 31,878 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    26 Feb 2017

    can you check lost property from 23 Feb at about 9am. Please confirm. It is a dell inspiron mini netbook. Muchas gracias

    1 reply 4 retweets
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  18. 21 Feb 2017

    We have had a few offers of tickets from other sources but need the confirm that you are not delivering on your promise.

    Do you want the booking reference to look into this.
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  19. 21 Feb 2017

    Do you want the booking reference to look into this.

    tickets bought in December and mañana is the big champions league match. Tom Theobald is stressed out without comms from u or tix!!
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  20. Retweeted
    20 Jan 2017

    How to conduct yourself gracefully at a funeral.

    91 retweets 173 likes
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