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hugorifkind's profile
Hugo Rifkind
Hugo Rifkind
Hugo Rifkind
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@hugorifkind

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Hugo RifkindVerified account

@hugorifkind

I didn't write the headline, though. Double Press Award winner (2017) and now officially the funniest journalist in Britain.

planethugo.tumblr.com/me
Joined February 2009

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    1. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

      Here follows a Brexit thread.

      620 replies . 7,058 retweets 14,066 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

      Sorry.

      22 replies . 72 retweets 1,495 likes
      Show this thread
      Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

      The thing is, the best way to understand Theresa May’s predicament is to imagine that 52 percent of Britain had voted that the government should build a submarine out of cheese.

      12:11 pm - 10 Dec 2018
      • 9,221 Retweets
      • 21,294 Likes
      • Sbio Saturn KNGVH GinaB Anna Soli Sheila Backer Alice Kim Besorgter Bildungsbürger
      862 replies . 9,221 retweets 21,294 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          Now, Theresa May was initially against building a submarine out of cheese, obviously. Because it’s a completely insane thing to do.

          31 replies . 355 retweets 3,025 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          However, in order to become PM, she had to pretend that she thought building a submarine out of cheese was fine and could totally work.

          19 replies . 359 retweets 2,979 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          "Cheese means cheese," she told us all, madly.

          17 replies . 332 retweets 3,114 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          Then she actually built one.

          3 replies . 218 retweets 2,284 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          It’s shit. Of course it is. For God’s sake, are you stupid? It’s a submarine built out of cheese.

          23 replies . 367 retweets 4,134 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          So now, having built a shit cheese submarine, she has to put up with both Labour and Tory Brexiters insisting that a less shit cheese submarine could have been built.

          27 replies . 410 retweets 3,368 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          They’re all lying, and they know it. So does everybody else. We've covered this already, I know, but it’s cheese and it’s a submarine. How good could it possibly be?

          14 replies . 299 retweets 3,275 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          Only she can’t call them out on this. Because she has spent the past two years also lying, by pretending she really could build a decent submarine out of cheese.

          15 replies . 306 retweets 3,200 likes
          Show this thread
        10. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          So that’s where we are.

          23 replies . 164 retweets 2,162 likes
          Show this thread
        11. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          On balance, I this analogy works fine, perhaps except for the submarine and cheese parts, which need a little work.

          120 replies . 219 retweets 5,254 likes
          Show this thread
        12. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 10 Dec 2018

          Thread ends.

          429 replies . 210 retweets 4,299 likes
          Show this thread
        13. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 25 Dec 2018

          Hugo Rifkind Retweeted Hugo Rifkind

          https://mobile.twitter.com/hugorifkind/status/1077486224452059136 …

          Hugo Rifkind added,

          Hugo RifkindVerified account @hugorifkind
          Happy Christmas. I got you a belated column about a submarine made of cheese, with a peculiarly self-regarding standfirst. I hope it's what you wanted. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/now-brexit-makes-sense-thanks-to-my-cheese-submarine-cbh8gmljd?shareToken=2935b8708f40a354655b776e10df5b4b …
          3 replies . 4 retweets 26 likes
          Show this thread
        14. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Tom Brannoc‏ @TBrannoc1453 10 Dec 2018
          Replying to @hugorifkind

          Building a submarine out of cheese is impossible. Leaving the EU is not impossible. People like you just don't want to do it.

          178 replies . 19 retweets 237 likes
        3. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 15 Dec 2018
          Replying to @TBrannoc1453

          You think the country of Isambard Kingdom Brunel couldn't build a submarine out of cheese? How dare you. Why do you hate Britain?

          1 reply . 3 retweets 125 likes
        4. Jeremy‏ @Jeremy21581283 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @hugorifkind @TBrannoc1453

          There was once a man called Hugo that thought a human only needed a head and his dick and that’s what he was known as “Head dick”, nobody understood until they shouted his name repeatedly and at speed - and then everyone understood. Seems as logical as submarines and cheese

          1 reply . 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @Jeremy21581283 @TBrannoc1453

          Tell me about yourself, Jeremy. Where do you live?

          1 reply . 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @hugorifkind @Jeremy21581283 @TBrannoc1453

          Jeremy? Don't vanish. I'm keen to know your dreams, hopes and fears.

          1 reply . 0 retweets 1 like
        7. Jeremy‏ @Jeremy21581283 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @hugorifkind @TBrannoc1453

          Hmm that’s a bit cheesy

          1 reply . 0 retweets 0 likes
        8. Hugo Rifkind‏Verified account @hugorifkind 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @Jeremy21581283 @TBrannoc1453

          Hi! Tell me everything. How old are you? Where do you live? What can you see out the window?

          2 replies . 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. Jeremy‏ @Jeremy21581283 31 Dec 2018
          Replying to @hugorifkind @TBrannoc1453

          Now a serious question did you vote leave or remain in the last referendum - just asking

          1 reply . 0 retweets 0 likes
        10. 1 more reply

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