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If no one hates you, you're doing it wrong
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something relatable
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RT for good luck the rare bleach howell has paid you a visit /VERY RARE/pic.twitter.com/cZaYhM7nnL
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no matter who you are let's support
#InternationalWomensDay an equal society is a better society for everyone
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Enjoy a unicorn made out of music notespic.twitter.com/f4oMZDa50b
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Person: Phil called Dan 'babe' at the train station Me:pic.twitter.com/BBrugJBBvk
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New Video! Dan and Phil PASTEL EDITS IN REAL LIFE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lSI-9hm6KI&list=UUHUE4ypXKp7ZkmdWbGJNgJg&index=1 … Please retweet for some pastel emojis


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Just noticed I have 4 MILLION followers!! Thanks guys! I am happier than this hedgehog sniffing a pizzapic.twitter.com/qcSilpvxNT
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QUICK! Retweet the Friday the 13th otter or he will smash your screen
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CALLING ALL MEMESTERS
ur time has come http://danisnotonfire.tumblr.com/post/155680647474/calling-all-memesters … submit here: http://danisnotonfire.tumblr.com/submit Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
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people are saying my tweet jokes have been too sad this week so i'm rebranding to wholesome howell here's a new meme for youpic.twitter.com/UQLzyCakuO
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i chose the 'word of the day' screensaver thinking it would be calming and educational great startpic.twitter.com/GrBINo5OKP
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here's to us pinning all our hopes and dreams for ourselves and the world on the orbit of our indifferent planet around the sun. happy 2017!
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how did honey get in my bellybutton
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I've realised I'm busy nearly every Sunday until next year so I'm moving my live shows to MOST THURSDAYS AT 8PM!

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ARRIVED IN LA! I can tell as a man just took 3 tiny dogs into a toilet cubicle with him




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Two major male celebrities will come out as bisexuals. They live in the same house right now
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Tried to tell the pool cleaning guy that there was a dead lizard in the water but my brain decided to say 'watch out for lead dizards'
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RT if you're proud of Dan and Phil
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