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  1. Retweeted
    May 18

    Roger Ailes couldn't roam the halls of Fox News sexually harrassing chicks anymore so he had nothing to live for.

  2. Retweeted
    May 18
    Replying to

    As a pastor, I'm pretty sure life after death has nothing to do w/ preparing to kick ass. I'm certain, however, God is against sexual abuse.

  3. Retweeted
    Apr 3

    GO PHILLIES I HOPE YOU DO WELL THIS SEASON ALTHOUGH I DOUBT IT WILL HAPPEN I WILL BE ACTIVELY ROOTING FOR YOU TO SUCCEED

  4. Retweeted
    Mar 23

    me when i hear a new kendrick lamar verse

  5. Mar 5

    If catered your wedding, but you didn't tell anyone, people would say how good the food was. Call it Cambridge Poultry Co-op.

  6. Feb 14

    For some reason ppl around the USA are telling their one black friend, You should try out for The Bachelorette, I think you'd be great on it

  7. Retweeted
    Feb 9

    we strap burgers to our chests like how they smuggled that money in Wolf of Wall Street

  8. Retweeted
    Jan 31

    So, what's everybody talking about today?

  9. Retweeted
    7 Sep 2016

    when youre a real human being

  10. Retweeted
    20 Nov 2016
  11. Retweeted
    14 Nov 2016

    Just settled a divorce over visitation of a parrot. Neither may teach it negative phrases about the other. I went to law school for this.

  12. Retweeted
    13 Nov 2016

    "why don't you make me?" is pretty much the best response to anything

  13. Retweeted
    4 Aug 2016

    Happy 55th, Barack! A brother to me, a best friend forever.

  14. Retweeted
    8 Nov 2016

    We're All From Africa and will welcome you back

  15. Retweeted
    8 Nov 2016
  16. Retweeted
    8 Nov 2016

    It sucks when the KKK wins

  17. Retweeted
    8 Nov 2016

    we see u tryna justify ur vote for trump by saying it's cuz hillary was bad like it wasn't really the hate in your heart that led u to trump

  18. Retweeted
    4 Nov 2016

    Dave Chappelle and a Tribe Called Quest on the first episode of SNL after the election!?

  19. Retweeted
    4 Nov 2016

    *all of my tweets a wek from now* ---> ya'll got anymore of those Dave Chappelle / ATCQ tickets baby?

  20. Retweeted
    31 Oct 2016

    Peter Thiel, verbatim: "If you're a single-digit millionaire like Hulk Hogan, you have no effective access to our legal system."

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