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Shitor Smellfart
folks, i'll level: i havent played a video game since christmas. i just plucked an inner ear hair 1/2 the size of my pinky. im grandpa
bruce lee's philosophy really resonated with me so now i spend all my time sitting inside a toilet
Getting Bummed in a Ford Transit: The Musical
[I am] Wario, [I am going to] win.
1 retweet 1 favoritei am stretched very thin on the ground and can't write good words on the twitter website. i like when elephants eat shit out each others ass
nobody but me sympathises. but when john mcclane or his contemporaries say "fuck it" and use the explosives, i feel emboldened to make it
i feel like an action movie hero in a tight and dangerous spot when i make a sandwich and i have one normal slice and 2 crust ends
job from the lawnmower man finally enters the internet and instead of ringing a bunch of phones is paralysed by all the imessage dick pics
IM GOING TO DIE FROM SPENDING SO MUCH
all it takes for the triumph of evil is for good men to die three times and then not insert a quarter within 9 very long seconds
1 retweet 3 favoriteslmao when the fuck did richard madeley become a "tomorrow's papers" analyst for the bbc. is this real life???
hello i'm a back alley accountant, i specialise in shoving a coathanger into your balance sheet to stop you releasing android microconsoles
1 retweetbattleturds: a smartphone pokemon game that uses real analytical data from your bowel movements via your SmartToilet
universal announce that they have found the long lost "sexy nurse" movie, finally rounding out the "monsters" catalogue
fellow juggalos: anybody else want to study the talmud at the gathering?
1 retweet 1 favoriteooooo wah a a a. you have artierosclerosis and you're going to need statins. unh unh. next patient please.
1 favorite
teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a day. teach a man basic logic proofs and he'll be the most unbearable stupid dull fucker for a lifetime
2 retweets 8 favoritesyou can tell bill gates is evil because he wastes his functionally limitless money and time on bullshit like eradicating polio not shenmue 3
1 favorite
I would like all Doobie's Dog House followers to help get us over a thousand followers.. It will look good when i go to the bank for a loan
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