heather schwedel

@heathertwit

neurotic dinosaur

Joined June 2008
84 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Jun 9

    Love a health-food store that sells Diet Coke.

    2 likes
  2. May 30

    The average woman loses between 50 and 100 strands per day. But I do feel weird whenever I throw my own hair in the garbage.

  3. May 30

    “I know that you’re here to further your whaboom.”

    1 like
  4. May 30

    One Day. with anne hathaway and jim sturgess. i am appropriately embarrassed about this answer, but also love the question

    What is a movie that you love more than anyone else you know?
  5. May 29

    "That's my job. That's literally my job." --my roommate when I told her I watched "War Dogs." It's about arms dealers.

  6. Retweeted
    May 22

    The Bachelor franchise has long been cruel to black women. Could this season really change that?

    10 replies 10 retweets 11 likes
  7. May 20

    "Got an $18 metrocard for $13. You can check it." --today's hustle

    1 like
  8. Retweeted
    May 17

    "Some stories weren’t meant to be viewed through a lens of bottomless sangria.” A skillful takedown of The Skimm.

    4 replies 25 retweets 51 likes
  9. May 10

    Hey I reviewed the new Amy Schumer movie Snatched:

    2 replies 4 retweets 5 likes
  10. Retweeted
    May 9

    Congratulations to , winner of the feature award for this exceptional piece.

    2 replies 10 retweets 18 likes
  11. May 9

    if you have friends who like to bake, is it ok, perhaps even helpful, to email them cakes from pinterest you want them to make for you?

    2 likes
  12. Retweeted
    May 8

    So Hillary Clinton's writing a memoir, Bill Clinton's writing a novel & I'm writing a novel about Hillary (really):

    57 replies 108 retweets 649 likes
  13. May 7

    So yeah my interest in obtaining a giant plastic Reese's cup as apartment decor has been piqued.

    8 likes
  14. May 1

    In retrospect, the 5th grade teachers switching for one subject was a total farce at preparing us for middle school.

    1 like
  15. May 1

    where can i get this sweater in an adult size?

    1 reply
  16. Retweeted
    Apr 19

    I rebuke everything about these shoes. If I'm paying full price, I want a WHOLE shoe.

    The hot new thing in ladies' footwear is not fully putting your foot into the shoe:
    27 replies 63 retweets 225 likes
  17. Apr 21

    this transcript has been lightly edited

    1 reply 4 likes
  18. Apr 18

    Apples, like lipstick, can be glossy or matte.

  19. Apr 1

    Found a Dippin Dots source in Ridgewood, does not present all relevant facts

    1 like
  20. Mar 28

    "You showed your ass and I, I saw the real you" is my favorite Beyoncé lyric about riding the escalator behind someone whose crack is out

    1 retweet 2 likes

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