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  1. 4 hours ago

    I smelt a shot of patron, I swear I felt like I got drunk just by smelling it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

  2. Jan 3

    Having to wait until kids fall asleep to watch a show of your own choosing.

  3. 13 hours ago

    Every single toy in my house that makes any sound is going now. Sirens, random songs, animal noises, dyson vacuum, and a baby cell phone ringing....all at once.

  4. Jan 1

    I’m new to this twitter thing!

  5. Jan 2

    Looking for a volunteer with fresh eyes to come tear my house apart and find my wallet that’s been missing for 3 weeks.

  6. Jan 2

    King size bed and I’m falling off because the six year old is taking up the rest of the bed 🤦🏼‍♀️ I also kept waking up to an elbow in the eye. Happy Wednesday everyone 🤷🏼‍♀️

  7. 11 hours ago
    Replying to

    I, no lie, don’t wash my shirt everyday and I wear it on stream. Lmao...

  8. 20 Jul 2018

    I wonder if I can somehow trick my kiddos into thinking that taking a nap is some kind of competition. I could use one!

  9. 28 Dec 2018

    To my college kid home on break, return my shampoo and conditioner so I don’t have to use your dads shampoo again and smell like I have man hair. I will sell your car if you don’t return them.

  10. Jan 3

    My son trying to sing : “I’ll show him how to net burp. Net net net net net wurt.” 🤦‍♀️

  11. 30 Dec 2018

    And it’s a wrap! Jayce is out for the night, making me not wanna do anything besides cuddle up with him 😩

  12. Jan 3

    Day 2 of GWL: I'm losing my mind...but the kids are having fun!

  13. 16 Nov 2018

    Would anyone judge me if I just left it this way? 😂🤣

  14. Jan 3

    Any one else get sort of panicky watching people on tv driving and not keeping their eyes on the road?

  15. Worst Cinderella moment. I've been invited to a formal event and have nothing formal, no way to get something formal, and no mice to sew me a formal frock...at one point in my life I had a myriad of formals ready to go at a moment's notice. Now, not. Dangit.

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  16. Jan 3

    Why do babies poop after you change their diapers?! Why?!

  17. At least once per day I find something in my house that makes me ask one (or more) of the questions we were all taught in elementary school: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

  18. Jan 3

    Me, coming home only to discover the girls playing with my new eye shadow palettes.

  19. 17 Sep 2018

    How am I supposed to tell my cat that I can’t feed her whenever she wants because she’s overweight??? :/

  20. Dec 31

    We’re now living in a house that’s being run by the same person who thinks you need to dive underwater to pull the plug on the bathtub

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