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  2. Jul 26

    Some drivers get all vexed because they get “stuck” behind your bike briefly whilst driving to work. Amazing how they completely lose it after, like, 10 seconds, and go all gammon-faced. They are suffering from one key problem: they didn’t get out of bed early enough.

    24 replies 57 retweets 201 likes
  3. Jul 28

    So bliming tired 😴😴Bit of faulty towers, cuppa & sofa! 👍🏻

    6 replies 45 likes
  4. 19 hours ago

    Being lazy so heres a little gif......

    92 replies 125 retweets 869 likes
  5. Jul 29

    One day the roads will deteriorate like many other Chinese roads, and we will go for more natural resources, to finance infrastructure. Just like timber, gold and cocoa, bauxite will see its end and we will still remain where we are. economists. sighted politicians

    2 replies 3 retweets 5 likes
  6. 6 hours ago

    Helping friends move furniture right now and I’m reminded why I don’t like helping friends move furniture. I’m the one stuck doing all the work 😂

    1 reply 3 likes
  7. 13 hours ago

    Police: ‘on searching the premises we recovered a large amount of drugs and cash...’ What they forget to add is: ‘... but we couldn’t be arsed to count or weigh it’ Not like it is relevant to sentence or anything! You could use the scales you’ve just seized!

    4 replies 1 retweet 19 likes
  8. Jul 30

    Well Daniel, you did 65 hours and 3 night shifts last week. You finally have a day off, are you going to go out and enjoy it? No, I'm laying on the sofa eating bags of fruit pastilles watching 'Are you being served?' and 'Hi-de-hi'.

    2 replies 5 likes
  9. Jul 22

    Hey seven drivers have cancelled on me. No wants wants a £60 fare from LGW-East Molesey?

    32 replies 15 retweets 14 likes
  10. Jul 23

    Monday morning when it rains all night & supposed to rain all day !

    192 replies 164 retweets 4,746 likes
  11. 3 hours ago

    A charcuterie board is a perfectly good dinner, no?

    1 reply 8 likes
  12. Jul 21

    🙈What’s your Mood?🤷🏼‍♀️ 💜Follow Everyone Who Replies, Retweets and Likes😈

    13 replies 36 retweets 82 likes
  13. Jul 29

    If Andreas PEREIRA were to be a new signing that cost us around 30 to 40 millions am very sure we would be filled with excitement. But he cost us nothing yet our manager can't harnesses the precious diamond his got on is hand. A gud manager spot, develop & buy talent.

    2 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
  14. 17 hours ago

    He's ever so excited about his walk this morning. WAKE UP OSCAR! Just had the butter dish, so pooped after all the licking.

    1 retweet 6 likes
  15. Jul 25

    Pet Peeve: News editors that use the VO for tease video. So, when the VO starts, it’s the same freaking video!!

    1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
  16. Jul 25

    Nice cold coffee in bed to start my lazy wednesday. So wish i could stay here all day!

    37 replies 25 retweets 362 likes
  17. Jul 27

    Why is it so hard for so many dudes to just “not be creepy” towards females on twitter. I don’t get the end game: are people really scoring one night stands via twitter cat calls? go to a bar & try and get laid the old fashioned way. They’ll probably appreciate the effort

    1 reply 20 likes
  18. Jul 23

    VIP Picks go 4-1 tonight but the 1 loss was a jackhammer. How did it lose? Gary Sanchez let a guy steal home from 2nd.

    6 replies 5 retweets 17 likes
  19. Jul 30

    My baby doesn’t crawl like normal babies, she rolls over and over again until she gets where she wants to go

    11 likes
  20. Jul 29

    i know there’s loads of gigs coming up that i want to go to but can’t remember when or where and im useless at buying tickets. so if someone else could just sort it all out for me that would be sound.

    1 reply 3 likes
  21. 7 hours ago

    Oh my Christ does my hair feel soft after that coconut oil. Why did I stop doing it I wonder

    1 reply 1 like

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