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Is it time to revive the
#secondcivilwarletters meme yet??? pic.twitter.com/q4T1EYSvz7This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
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Dear Friends - Peter was able to send a compressed video to me today. He’s had to enlist Jasper to help fish for food - supplies are low at the front. I remain in the swamp for the night. At least there is WIFI. And only one remote at the hotel.
#secondcivilwarletters#fourthdaypic.twitter.com/MuROF055Po -
Welcome to
#RatioRoundup where we celebrate gallows humor as practice for in case this all goes south and we all meet each other in person in a political prison.
We start w/ a good ratio & a trip down #secondcivilwarletters lane. H/t to@BlountAntics for the happy ending pic.twitter.com/AFLWQCCe8Y
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Gen
@amandablount2, it is 8am Monday morning as as I crawl in my battle semi to the Ft. Pitt Tunnel in Pittsburgh, an enemy unit has passed by. My efforts to intercept the unit has proven futile! Pray for us all!#secondcivilwarletters#MondayMorning#RushHourpic.twitter.com/622paKAccnShow this thread -
Still reeling from massive losses at the Battle of Bullshit Run,
@RealAlexJones attempts to assault Facebook Hill only to be thwarted again by common sense. He retreats from the battle to write his Dear Martha letter on one of his spare ripped shirts#secondcivilwarletters https://twitter.com/ReflectingMan/status/1022840151376969728 … -
Ok, I've got my 'Grim Civil War' Photo done. So I'm ready!
#CivilWar2#secondcivilwarletters pic.twitter.com/ywT6cUi4cs
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Dear Mama, I only have a liddie’ covfefe left. All of our good Christian men are out of wife beaters (covered in blood) and red suspenders. The only camp we have is near the windmill, which our
#TraitorTrump says will give us cancer.#secondcivilwarletters#CivilWar2https://twitter.com/BrienneOfSnark_/status/1178629236921421824 … -
So far, the second civil war is being fought on Twitter and it looks like trumpistani's are launching their hate missiles from hamberder hill in the convfefe mountains. They have tactical stupidity as their shield against facts and reason.
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Dearest, At dawn we surrounded the podium... It was then that we captured the flag. Oops... My bad.
#SecondCivilWarLetters pic.twitter.com/YQ6kdje0b2
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Dearest I am afraid the war news is grim. Supplies are so low, the emperor’s daughter has taken to wearing draperies and strapped a spare Kotex to her forehead. The emperor has decided to hold a small-dick measuring contest in lieu of the 4th. The Horror!
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Dear Mama, We Civil War’ed a windmill south of town today. All of our god fearing men have come down with Windmill Cancer and Diabetes. I fear none will survive.
#CivilWar2#secondcivilwarletters -
Most people thought the pictures were reversed, or should be. They vanilla-ed the house & no one was happy about it. H/t
@pookietooth,@Heffalumpy,@MLCzone, @KildayMorgan@wlawrence71 (may we remember the#secondcivilwarletters) pic.twitter.com/uypyb6EI5H
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Dear Eustace, Im very much afraid this will reach you too late. Im on the front lines and can see the enemy is equipped with a newfangled weapon called facts. We have no defense against them & I can see the damage it is having on our numbers. Please pray.
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#secondcivilwarletters#CivilWar2 Dearest Martha, We attempted to arrest for treason, the traitorous Adam Schiff. However, he beat the men about the head with a rolled up copy of the Constitution, and the men were helpless to defend themselves. We are regrouping at Chick-Fil-A. -
I would pay actual money to watch a documentary where people read
#secondcivilwarletters in Southern accents a lá the History Channel -
The end is near and provisions are low. All I have left are these kale chips. I must consume them as they will betray me.
#gc79#secondcivilwarletters pic.twitter.com/Pw0Niy9B6z
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Dear Mable, We try to be brave, but the enemy has sent 16 year old Swedish girls against our lines, and we have retreated to the Waffle House. We keep morale up as best we can, but even Fox has wavered on us. Keep the faith.
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Happy Independence Day. Reporting from the Western Front. The MAGAt troops are in disarray when confronted with a literate, caffeinated foe. We offer them gay frog legs and iced frappucinos...they run in fear
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Mary, General Bannon’s orders grow more disturbing by the day. Before we could march on a feminist bookstore, he demanded we provide him with the bodies of three drifters- to what end we do not know. I fear our dog whistles will not protect us from him.
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Dearest, We remain hunkered down at home. The Red Hat Army stage protests to protect their civil liberties but disregard our safety. They raise the Confederate flag saying the Govt can't make 'em wear masks. Next they'll want to frolic with no garments!
#secondcivilwarletters
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