Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9:00 p.m. at the world-famous Snakehole Lounge.
The place the Pawnee Journal has called "the sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
That's not what they wrote.
Fine, I added the word "sexiest."
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The Terminal List Now Streaming on Prime Video
Let's talk about personal relationships. Who wants to start? Donna?
I have several men in rotation. One's waiting for me out in the car.
Don't worry. I rolled down the window.
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So, I've got a list of everything that I'm supposed to be able to do to get into the police academy, and number one is, "be able to run 2 miles in under 25 minutes."
That's a typo, right? I mean, that's humanly impossible.
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Are you guys frying marbles?
We were checking to see if the fire alarm worked. It doesn't…
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Budget solution number 28.
Use grazing sheep to mow grass in parks.
Note. Tired sheep could become food or sweaters.
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Killing time at Tattered Cover on Colfax. I told myself I couldn't buy any more books because I have too many to read right now, but that doesn't mean I can't buy cookbooks, right?
#ParksAndRec Official Cookbook.
Distraction Waffles and Bacon Wrapped Shrimp, yummmmm.
I used to have one really good reason for staying in Pawnee.
But now, I'm not sure what's keeping me here.
Although, I am just two sandwiches away from a free meatball sub.
This is expired.
#ParksAndRec
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I think we should book Orin as a headliner. I think it's a no-brainer.
He dislocates his shoulder to the music of Billy Joel.
The Pawnee Journal called it, "Why would anyone do this?"
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Ben and I don't hang out much these days.
Big deal, lots of people don't hang out.
Jerry and April. Obama and Madonna, probably.
We're in good company.
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Is this everybody?
Ann took a cab. Tom's in the trunk. Jerry's on the roof.
All right, where to first?
Your mother's butt.
I'm so alone…
If even one of you thinks about dry heaving in my car, you're all walking home.
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A final tally within 1% would trigger an automatic recount.
In the event of an exact tie, the seat is awarded to the male candidate and the female candidate is put in jail.
Once again, I have to object.
I don't think it would hold up in court, but it is city law.
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It's okay. Everything's fine. Just wheel out the backup cake.
There is no backup cake.
Who doesn't bake a backup cake?
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I always had fun with Andy.
The problem is, when you're his girlfriend, you're also his mother, and his maid and his nurse.
He's completely helpless. He's like a baby in a straightjacket.
Ooh! Baby in a Straightjacket. That's a good band name.
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Actors, do you need help with your self tapes? #jersyboys #TheDropout #parksandrec #NewGirl #NocturnalAnimals are all shoes I’ve booked or helped book via self tape. Book your self tape today!
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I think we ought to throw those bars out and eat ham-and-mayonnaise sandwiches.
That's not a good idea.
Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise!
#ParksAndRec
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It means that I have been formally disciplined for breaking the law.
Well, you know what they say, "You break it, you buy it."
That doesn't really apply here.
Tell that to the folks at Pier 1, an establishment I'm no longer allowed inside.
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I always have the urge to watch Parks and Rec. One of my favorite shows! #parksandrec #LeslieKnope #BenWyatt
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