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Great costumes! Thomas,
#OutOfTheWill! https://twitter.com/tromney/status/1189893316994912257 …
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Family ties: A first cousin I haven't heard from in at least a decade emails me -- to complain, indignantly, about the
@USATODAY crowd estimate for the KC@Chiefs victory parade. (It was much bigger, she says.)#OutOfTheWill -
My son has just suggested inventing non-alcoholic whisky
#OutOfTheWill -
Told my grandma “it would be fun to put chocolate chips in the biscotti!
”
Now I’m #outofthewill -
Colter: ‘I see you did that Face App thing that makes you look really old in the picture you just posted.’ Me: ‘What Face App?’
#smileyboys#outofthewill -
You need to be careful with idle threats or they won’t be taken seriously. I threatened to take my son Bill out of my will if he didn’t shape up. He didn’t shape up. Guess who is out of the will? BILL!!
#outofthewill -
I had brain surgery 5 weeks ago and I still have not seen #1?? What the heck??
@Scottyplagues#tossedunderthebus#outofthewill ?? -
This makes me think of my nephew Eugene, the Psychologist. He suggests I take a neuro-psych test to “determine a diagnosis.” No need, I already have the diagnosis: MOST BELOVED AND RESPECTED PATRIARCH EVER! The treatment? THROWING YOU OUT OF MY WILL! BYE-BYE EUGENE!
#outofthewill -
such a disappointment...Dear football gods with a little g, where did I go wrong with this one???
#outofthewill -
My teen left with friends and funds to bring back a pint of
@MitchellsCleve ice cream almost an hour ago. I’m looking out the window like a retiree waiting for the mailman. No sign of him. Where could he be? Bottom of the 8th and Dad needs his cookie dough.#OutOfTheWill -
When your kids think it’s funny to send you this.
@maxminervini30@SpenceMinervini#outofthewill pic.twitter.com/9h8FDHQCbe
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I grew up playing hockey, it’s my favorite sport. I texted my oldest son
@KoppelmanJoey tonight asking if he was watching Gm 5 of the Cup Championship; his response: “No, I’m watching Jersey Shore.”#outofthewill#unacceptable -
I guess the thrill of seeing your grandma grocery shopping after work is only one-sided
#outofthewill? pic.twitter.com/jp71MRdsv6
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My son's doing a monologue from my play and he's CUTTING MY SHOW.
#outofthewill pic.twitter.com/ekD1DGlcKL
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My moms so upset over my April Fools tattoo photo. I told her 3 times it was fake
#outofthewill pic.twitter.com/uP5tfZEhIL
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Family won't speak to me and wife about politics. Maybe because we scream: You voted for Nazis! Enjoy your tax cuts, racists!
#outofthewill -
When my grandpa is a die hard Boston fan and I'm wearing NY
#outofthewill pic.twitter.com/BOOeoz4FJ1
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Kid said "if they throw it over Alonzo's head you say they threw it 'over Yonder'" This is his favorite A's related joke.
#OutOfTheWill -
when the beat drops so does grandma
#outofthewill pic.twitter.com/32sPo4AwMV
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