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  1. 26 Feb 2018

    "I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon," Trump said, according to The Associated Press. I believe you, Captain Bone Spurs & I really believe that due to an unexpected write-in vote, I'll win an Oscar this Sunday.

    1,222 replies 5,572 retweets 35,580 likes
  2. 30 Mar 2018

    "He did it out of love." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    This Tweet is unavailable.
    127 replies 424 retweets 3,096 likes
  3. 25 Apr 2018
    Replying to

    Newsflash: Neither does Trump.

    5 retweets 17 likes
  4. 26 Feb 2018
    Replying to

    I remember when there were so many members of the brave Trump family serving next to me in the Army.

    6 retweets 38 likes
  5. 27 Apr 2019

    Saw today (at a gig, not just randomly in the street), and I had no idea she could sing and play piano, REALLY well! “Hen-do on a train” would have had Victoria Wood howling with laughter. If you get the chance, grab a ticket!

    2 replies 1 retweet 35 likes
  6. 14 Feb 2018

    *TOUR KLAXON* I’m v excited to tell you I’ll be taking my comedy show on tour this September; dates in Manchester, Cardiff, Newcastle, Glasgow and more!

    75 replies 76 retweets 491 likes
  7. 26 Feb 2018

    I’ll wake up tomorrow and all of this will be over..and America will be America again....

    4 retweets 10 likes
  8. 26 Feb 2018

    Riiiiiiight.........and if it wasn’t for those damned Bone Spurs you would have won the Vietnam war........ on your own 🤷‍♂️

    Trump on the Parkland school shooting: “I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon and I think most of the people in this room would have done that too”
    7 retweets 18 likes
  9. 7 Dec 2010

    And I hope he retires RT : Vikings coach Leslie Frazier hopes Brett Favre will practice Thursday - http://es.pn/fWUPQE

  10. 26 Feb 2018

    I really believe I will win a Pulitzer Prize for my book this year.

    2 likes
  11. 11 Mar 2018
    Replying to

    Roy Moore Senate race?

    7 likes
  12. 26 Feb 2018
    Replying to

    He would have saved all the kids, brought people back to life and captured the shooter. He also had the biggest inaugural crowd, didn't grope any women, and is the least racist person in America while being a stable genius.

    2 retweets 3 likes
  13. 26 Feb 2018

    "I really believe pigs fly backwards in the rain"

    Trump: “I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon."
    5 retweets 12 likes
  14. 22 Jun 2010

    let's not be silly, ladies

    1 retweet
  15. 18 Mar 2015

    I like trying on my moms wedding rings

    1 retweet 2 likes
  16. 26 Feb 2018
    Replying to

    And I really believe that had I bought my lottery tickets exactly 32.7 seconds later, my numbers would have been the big winners!!

    4 likes
  17. 26 Feb 2018

    Sorry, , they caught me and took away the ballots. Maybe next year! 😂

    "I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon," Trump said, according to The Associated Press. I believe you, Captain Bone Spurs & I really believe that due to an unexpected write-in vote, I'll win an Oscar this Sunday.
    7 likes
  18. 26 Feb 2018

    I swear Mark Hamill is the only reason I have Twitter account. His tweets 😂❤️👏🏻😂😘

    "I really believe I'd run in there even if I didn't have a weapon," Trump said, according to The Associated Press. I believe you, Captain Bone Spurs & I really believe that due to an unexpected write-in vote, I'll win an Oscar this Sunday.
    7 likes
  19. 26 Feb 2018
    Replying to

    Until you've had the experience of rapid fire creating breezes overhead, you really aren't in a position to know how you'll respond. But, like you said

    1 retweet 12 likes
  20. 12 Mar 2019

    A lady at work just referred to part of my body as my "waistline." I don't know where she was looking, but I'll take the compliment.

    2 likes

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