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harlequinean's profile
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@harlequinean

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@harlequinean

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the upside-down
buddhism-for-vampires.com/we-are-all-mon…
Joined April 2020

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    1. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 19 Apr 2020

      shifting into @harlequinean makes several things uncomfortably clear about my ordinary boy personality, maybe the biggest of which is that i deeply believe that i'm not allowed to be happy or have nice things or even want very much, by default, most of the time

      7 replies 4 retweets 91 likes
      Show this thread
    2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 19 Apr 2020

      *but* that if i tried very hard i could arrange specific conditions, mostly involving other people (mostly women) showering me with praise and affection, under which i'm allowed to be happy and that the arranging of these conditions has been my dominant psychological motive

      3 replies 0 retweets 58 likes
      Show this thread
    3. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 19 Apr 2020

      (maybe it's only women really. i never worry that i won't get praise from men - i get that effortlessly - and affection i never expect and never try for)

      5 replies 0 retweets 41 likes
      Show this thread
      ???‏ @harlequinean 19 Apr 2020
      Replying to @QiaochuYuan

      YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WALK ON YOUR KNEES FOR A HUNDRED MILES THROUGH THE DESERT REPENTING YOU ONLY HAVE TO LET THE SOFT ANIMAL OF YOUR BODY LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

      5:14 PM - 19 Apr 2020
      • 4 Retweets
      • 44 Likes
      • Stephen 32/100 tpot friends video called champagne-soaked goblin synthetear Dailan Wren TellerGrim matt helen up (631/1k songs) sir(?) ebullient lawn carrot 💎
      4 replies 4 retweets 44 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 19 Apr 2020
          Replying to @harlequinean

          just for fun i'm gonna try reversing all of these 🙃 "i have to be good" yes obviously "i have to walk on my knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting" also yes "i can't let the soft animal of my body love what it loves" of course ow

          3 replies 1 retweet 24 likes
        3. huanwin‏ @HuanWin 19 Apr 2020
          Replying to @QiaochuYuan

          huanwin Retweeted huanwin

          dang, man -- i flinched from the resonance of this wondering if our experience is also similar in another way: ever daydreamed about being gently told, "that's enough, it's over, well done, rest now."? bit tropey heh but this kinda thing:https://twitter.com/HuanWin/status/1027372673351868417?s=20 …

          huanwin added,

          huanwin @HuanWin
          Replying to @visakanv
          oh stars this trope breaks down all my walls also the trope where someone is fighting hard, clinging on and a friend/mentor arrives just as theyre passing out/away, and asking "is it- is it over?" "aye. you did well. rest now." as they hold the valiant and weary one safe
          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        4. Show replies
        1. New conversation
        2. bosco‏ @selentelechia 19 Apr 2020
          Replying to @harlequinean @QiaochuYuan

          THERE IS NO SCALE WEIGHING YOUR SOUL AT THE END OF THIS ROAD THERE IS NO COUNCIL OF WOMEN HOLDING YOUR HAPPINESS HOSTAGE IN EXCHANGE FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR DO WHAT U WANT WHAT'RE THEY GONNA DO, TAKE AWAY YOUR BIRTHDAY?

          2 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
        3. QC‏ @QiaochuYuan 19 Apr 2020
          Replying to @selentelechia @harlequinean

          tbh kind of wish there were and that they would just tell me exactly what my crimes are and what the punishment is so i can just take it

          1 reply 0 retweets 11 likes
        4. Show replies
        1. New conversation
        2. Elle Denisova (0/10 boring tasks)‏ @edenisovan 26 May 2020
          Replying to @harlequinean @QiaochuYuan

          YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD OR BAD YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FORGE YOURSELF THROUGH A HUNDRED DAYS TIL SEPTEMBER YOU ONLY HAVE TO LET THE BLACK SPACE BEHIND YOUR EYES BE

          2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        3. ???‏ @harlequinean 26 May 2020
          Replying to @edenisovan @QiaochuYuan

          damn girl 😍 i want to hear more where that come from!!!

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. Nanda‏ @SpeaksNanda 26 May 2020
          Replying to @harlequinean @QiaochuYuan

          What I want happens not when the deer freezes in the shade and looks at you and you hold very still and meet her gaze but in the moment after when she flicks her ears & starts to feed again.

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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