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Airport security in Zurich: “What were you doing in Europe?” Me: “I performed a concert last night” Her: “What did you play?” Me: “Beethoven Violin Concerto” Her: *casual tone* “Which one?” Me: ...There’s only one- Her: “Oh very good sir. You pass.”
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lmaooooo my cat is hilarious bro she really learning how to use premiere
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I had to get a background check for my job, and it turns out the report is a 300+ page pdf of every single tweet I’ve ever liked with the work “fuck” in it. Enjoy your dystopian bs! *waves*
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Screech up to a yard sale. Ask if they have any haunted amulets. Yell at the dog in your backseat, "I'm GETTING the spell reversed, Greg!"
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today my CS professor verified my imposter syndrome by saying "you're a good student, but here at Harvard there are some really great and really talented students" when he said that memories of loneliness and exclusion within the department flooded my mind, and I started crying
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USB-C Transfers Slow? The fix might be easy! Hint: It's upside-downhttps://www.pscp.tv/w/cQR7QDg3NDM3OTJ8MU1ZeE5rclFrQVZLd9wI5_jgqNbdEDLX2mWzKOd2KYNCOIutlLxkBMTkWlVy …
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What an incredible scandal: A startup that makes medical records software used in tens of thousands of doctors offices was secretly getting paid by an opioid maker to insert a pop-up box suggesting opioid prescriptions https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2020-01-30/health-records-company-pushed-opioids-to-doctors-in-secret-deal …pic.twitter.com/hymeMTkDyi
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You cannot make this shit up.https://twitter.com/Joe_Gerth/status/1223278777045856257 …
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Fenn, my nearly 4 year old daughter, recorded her first ever solo song today. She came up with all the words herself and I helped her a little bit with the tune. It’s called ‘Dinosaurs in Love’.


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Guy at Front of Human Centipede Doesn’t Believe in ‘Privilege’https://thehardtimes.net/harddrive/guy-at-front-of-human-centipede-doesnt-believe-in-privilege/ …
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This tweet has been liked the same number of times it has been retweeted.
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NOVELISTS WRITING ABOUT GROWING UP IN NYC: The city pulses, even at night, the streets like rushing rivers of light and sound. MY ACTUAL CHILDHOOD IN NYC: Got busted by a NYC Transit cop jumping the turnstile at 72nd St. and a Dominican girl laughed at me saying, “you stupid!”
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Singing of Auld Lang Syne starts in the European Parliament as the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement is approved by MEPs http://bbc.in/37ELSUt pic.twitter.com/pTiLrW0Qlf
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At NAV the rule is that if bosses calls programmers resources we can call bosses overhead (Originally the rule comes from
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Karl Marx Job Interview - https://existentialcomics.com/comic/326 pic.twitter.com/ToKu8NLm3f
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I’m getting old cuz this shit excites mepic.twitter.com/txE8Gp0BcG
Ovo je potencijalno osjetljiv multimedijski sadržaj. Saznajte višePrikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
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Imagine if Trump punched a farmer in the face; ...Then punched the farmer's friends & family; ...Then kept punching them all for 27 months; ...Then stopped; ...Then told farmers to vote for him because he brought an end to all the punching. It's like that, but with tariffs.
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Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.
Twitter je možda preopterećen ili ima kratkotrajnih poteškoća u radu. Pokušajte ponovno ili potražite dodatne informacije u odjeljku Status Twittera.