The patricians potentially form a distinct "us" - they had their own marriage rituals, special powers and privileges, etc. But in the balanced state, notable plebian families were incorporated into the class gradually.
The counter example of this, which has no doubt happened, would be a person justifying the loss of all their sons in war because they managed to kill a few of the hated out-group. The French pretty much depleted their society's great force and character this way.
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rather than claiming, as some men do, that these choices were necessary to be made and thus nations are trapped into degeneration, I'll note, evolutionarily, that the nations that survive are those who were able to produce and elevate leaders able to undertake other options.
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