Cancer
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So like a small little growth in your body is somehow bad?? People saying it can kill you??? Don't be absurd. Growing is literally a good thing. My kids grow, my vegetable garden grows. Come on.
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Shitting ya daks
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Name a better way to excuse yourself from any unwanted social situation. I'll wait.
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Losing your life savings on the pokies then blaming your wife for it.
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Licking a razor blade.
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A razor blade is made of metal. What's in your blood? Iron. So all you've done is add more health to your blood.
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Having an accident on your table saw doing DIY shit
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stepping on a lego
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My 3-year-old ate the dog's fecal accident on the floor because he thought it was chocolate pudding.
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Congrats. He has just graduated from the University of life. Wonderful news.
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