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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Mar 22

    this was January 28th. what were media hacks who are acting like they're Nostradamus now, saying back then? Zilch.

    Undo
  2. This totally nails the “creepy older guy at the bar who just removed his wedding ring but smells like mothballs” vibe.

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  5. you know he read this out loud beforehand, alone in front of a mirror, shirtless and flexing.

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  7. Dec 10

    here you have a dog, watching a dog, watching a dog on the five. if you get your dog to watch this, it could go on forever.

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  8. Dec 10
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  9. Dec 10
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  10. Dec 10
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  11. Dec 10
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  12. Dec 10

    i'll be coming up on show to say hello to an old friend who's going thru some tough times.

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  13. Dec 10

    Captain Scurvy, my infant non binary hermit crab just asked if "The Plus" was available as an audiobook, and I said, "wow, Captain Scurvy, my infant non binary hermit crab - i had no idea you enjoyed my books! Also, go to Amazon you shitty little shellfish."

    Undo
  14. Dec 9

    If I am not in the index there will be hell to pay

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  15. Dec 8
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  16. Dec 7

    What you're seeing now is a retreat into the comfort zone of ambien journalism: everyone reports nominations for cabinet positions, then disappears for an hour or two - as if to say, "my job is done." This catch and release of non-news will be journalism for the next 4 years.

    Undo
  17. Dec 5

    gunna be a great show. I will be live-chatting the damn thing over at come join us - i'll probably start a little early! and have a decent buzz!

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  18. Dec 4

    hell is defined as an eternity of virtue signaling.

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  19. Dec 4

    must i add a comment? always? really? stop this charade! great show tomorrow night!

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  20. Dec 3

    when your claim to fame is that you're Miley Cyrus's untalented sister, gotta get attention somehow. god this family is atrocious.

    Undo
  21. Dec 3
    Undo

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