a woman actually originally invented the word, that’s the best part
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women to proposition him for sex on the basis of him being existent & in their field of vision. There is a group who identifies w/ the label, & they’ve made it toxic. Why *force* that label on other people who *do not want* it?
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I am not forcing it on anyone - I saw some tweets with a word I didn't know - I looked it up - the definition appears incorrect or outdated - but is it because: incel not equal involuntary celibacy? or involuntary celibacy not equal sexual frustration? all were once synonyms?
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“Sexually frustrated” preceded “incel”, I believe- IIRC, it was being used in the 1990s to describe anyone who was having less sexual contact than they wanted (I think the connotation included people in relationships w/ mismatched sex drives, too, though). “Involuntarily
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celibacy” seems to be a condition, &, in my experience, I’ve heard men use it in terms of “Well, technically I’m involuntarily celibate, but I’d never call myself an incel.” A major part of the reason seems to be the connotation both of those terms have RE: Elliot Rodgers, but
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another facet a (male) friend just pointed out to me is that he would *like* to find a sexual partner he’s attracted to, & feels self-identifying as being *unable to do so* might be really unhealthy/ counterproductive for him personally.
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many people don't feel comfortable associating with their involuntary conditions but the label could still apply - so many deep levels of shame involved in our collective views of sexuality - so hard to unpack that from these labels - anyway thanks for sharing your experience
End of conversation
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