God

@god

Hells yeah, it's me!

heaven
Joined January 2007
63 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    17 Mar 2014

    Best fortune ever!

    2,421 retweets 4,485 likes
  2. Aug 7

    Trump's secret to good health...two white babies for breakfast every morning.

    317 retweets 593 likes
  3. Jul 28

    Actual door mat I noticed upon leaving my friend's house this AM. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

    143 retweets 441 likes
  4. Jul 26

    Sometimes I feel like I'll never catch 'em all.

    259 retweets 450 likes
  5. Jul 14

    Touché!

    228 retweets 448 likes
  6. Jul 10

    "Recently I was walking through a park and a tree fell right in front of me... it didn't make a sound."

    40 retweets 156 likes
  7. Jun 19

    God Clarifies That He Still Hates Cleveland Fans Despite Cavaliers Championship

    3,140 retweets 4,551 likes
  8. Jun 19

    Congratulations , , !!!

    43 retweets 96 likes
  9. Jun 7

    BREAKING: is accusing of using math against him.

    92 retweets 254 likes
  10. Jun 7

    Poor , his dementia is getting so bad he keeps forgetting that he lost.

    112 retweets 225 likes
  11. May 11

    I think it's time for to change his adult diaper, go home, and enjoy his great-grandchildren.

    192 retweets 493 likes
  12. May 6

    It's sad that everyone has "all gender" bathrooms in their homes already, but Republicans still managed to make this an issue.

    769 retweets 1,456 likes
  13. Apr 2

    So true.

    1,053 retweets 1,303 likes
  14. Mar 27

    My son gets crucified, dies (duh) and comes back to life, and you people worship a fucking bunny for Easter?? Nice.

    934 retweets 2,011 likes
  15. Mar 20

    As dad is checking family into hotel, he says "I hope the porn is disabled." Guy at desk replies, "It's just regular porn, you sick fuck."

    758 retweets 1,523 likes
  16. Mar 15

    Proof that nipple tweakers existed long before J-Lo videos.

    208 retweets 452 likes
  17. Feb 27

    Word on the street is that is going to be dropping out of the race after the next primary!

    37 retweets 176 likes
  18. Feb 17

    I was all like, "baby, you ain't losing your virginity, your gaining your sexuality".

    285 retweets 509 likes
  19. Feb 17

    I can't believe people still believe in the "immaculate conception". I hit that and it was anything but immaculate when we finished.

    168 retweets 289 likes
  20. Feb 12

    In case you were wondering.

    1,612 retweets 2,256 likes
  21. God followed , , and 12 others

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