"This could cause a backlash against guns!" "Not on my watch," said the president as he unloaded his AK. - President Assault Rifle
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Gingrich Fiction
@gingrichfiction
Excerpts from Newt Gingrich's speculative fiction! What if the South won the Civil War? What if dogs could fly? FIND OUT HERE!
DCJoined January 2012
Gingrich Fiction’s Tweets
"The America I love allows us the freedom to die from a cold if we want to!" - Capt Newt vs The Mandate
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"We'll fight this war the way our founding fathers would've wanted: every man for himself!"
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Which is your favorite chapter of Newt's moon saga? Beside "The Obsidian Balthans of Hexxon-5," of course
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"With the Scepter of Tralfaldor in my hands not even Dar Symeon can stop me!" Chapter 5 of Newt's moon saga "The Zarloks of Kremlon Return!"
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"'If Florida doesn't want to be saved, then we'll let it burn!' growled Capt. Gingrich as he shut off the hose."
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"Boy, isn't war great?" -Newt Gingrich's Ernest Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls"
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"Thanks to your efforts, Senator Gingrich, we've defeated that huge New Deal boondoggle called The Marshall Plan!"
"I can't increase the speed any more, captain. She won't bear it!" "Mr. Smith, she's the S.S. Free Market. She can bear anything!"
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Many tweets say "Get off my plane!" is from Air Force One. It is also from Newt's novel "Con Air". This account exists to enlighten you
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"Get off my plane!" - Newt Gingrich's "Con Air"
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"How you like that, Mr. Hitler?!" - Newt's WWII novel "Guadalcanal Thunder" (Note: We are suing the makers of "Red Tails")
"Congratulations, Sgt. Gingrich. Your quick thinking and interrogation tactics prevented the Stonewall riot from ever happening!"
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"With one swift blow from his fist, General Gingrich knocked that Japanese Zero right out of the sky."
"Hoist the mizzenmast, Mr. Smith! And keep it hoisted until we reach the shores of Iran!"
we're sad to report the next installment will be the last in Newt's erotic fiction series, "The Slow Hand of the Free Market"
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"Moon colonists, your moon mission, if you choose to accept it, is to colonize the moon." "The moon, you say?"
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"I couldn't have done it without my best friend, Newt." "It was my pleasure, Vince Lombardi."
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in "Blood Sugar Death Magic," the latest title in Newt's mystery series, he goes undercover as a member of Red Hot Chili Peppers
Newt's new young adult book, "Forever Night," imagines a world of vampires and werewolves caught up in the Teapot Dome Scandal
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Make sure to check out "Beyond the Yalu," in which Newt imagines a world where Gen. MacArthur invaded China and we now make our own iPads.
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good news for those who preordered Newt's next novel: the warehouse is now shipping "What If General Lee Was His Own Horse?"
"And with that assassin's bullet, the secret would die with Lincoln: that the Union won the Civil War thanks to ancient alien technology."
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"Alan Greenspan has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue him?"
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"Stately plump Grover Norquist came from the stairhead" - opening to Newt Gingrich's James Joyce's Ulysses
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Newt's "The Treaty of Ghent" is a metafiction exercise about the end of the War of 1812 told from the perspective of a quill used to sign it
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"If Gorbachev won't tear down this wall, by god I'll tear it down for him!" Reagan cried, taking the controls of the bulldozer.
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"Alright, ninjas, you just messed with the wrong president," said Reagan, reaching for his M16.
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on #SOTU night, consider Newt's 1997 novel "State of the Union," a tender tale of disintegrating marriage. in a world where the Nazis won.
For you sports fans, Newt is working on a novel set in spring training of 1947, where Jackie Robinson suffers a career-ending ankle injury
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"Dive!" commanded Captain Gingrich. "This sub will not surface until we've sunk the Department of Education!"
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." - Newt Gingrich's Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities
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"I couldn't have won the Indy 500 without you, Mr. Gingrich." "It was my pleasure, Grover Norquist!"
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"Ah, we meet again, senor Kennedy. But now it is I who invades *your* Bay of Pigs!" "Castro, you fiend! How dare you call Miami that!"
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due to popular demand, Newt's novel "Brown v. Board of Education, Overturned?" is in its sixth printing. thanks, readers!
"You've won the Battle of the Bulge, Sgt. Ayn Rand!"
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"With the Confederate army marching toward Washington, cowardly president Lincoln shouted 'every man for himself!' and fled to France."
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"That's right, Mr. Yasgur. You just tell those hippies to move along. I'm here from the future to make sure that Woodstock never happens!"
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"Could this cannon fashioned out of a bird feeder actually work? It had to, or General Stonewall Jackson was finished."