Jason O. GilbertVerified account

@gilbertjasono

Humor writer beloved by all. New Yorker, McSweeney's, HBO. Get in touch: gilbertjasono@gmail.com

Brooklyn, NY
Joined February 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Mar 14

    Why should we listen to TEENS who haven't graduated high school when we could be listening to ADULTS who are constantly tricked into sharing articles from www.NYt1mes.fart

    45 replies 2,672 retweets 12,871 likes
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  2. Jun 7

    This is like a line of dialogue spoken by the first security guy to get killed in a Jurassic Park movie

    BREAKING: Trump on June 12 North Korea summit: “I don’t think I have to prepare that much. It’s about attitude.” per
    40 replies 853 retweets 6,028 likes
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  3. Jun 7

    I’m going to start saying this instead of “Merry Christmas"

    6 replies 25 retweets 220 likes
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  4. Jun 7

    Analysis: Millennials MUST be willing to die in a gutter after a grueling day shoveling coal aboard a steam ship

    Analysis: Millennials should be willing and able to work longer than their parents and grandparents did
    4 replies 116 retweets 790 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Jun 5

    Trump unable to remember words to "God Bless America" at replacement event he commissioned to prove his patriotism:

    6,407 replies 30,461 retweets 64,447 likes
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  6. Jun 5

    Breaking: Fox News has discovered this exclusive image of the Philadelphia Eagles forming a “Protest Huddle” during the Anthem

    12 replies 111 retweets 1,034 likes
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  7. Jun 4

    Well I’m convinced

    130 replies 2,120 retweets 15,833 likes
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  8. Jun 3

    I can’t believe Melania was canceled after one season

    28 replies 327 retweets 3,513 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    May 31

    Mr President you can’t just pardon ‘whoever killed JonBenet Ramsey’

    47 replies 3,045 retweets 20,396 likes
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  10. May 31

    It gets dumber and dumber every day, like the bus in Speed except we have to maintain a certain level of stupidity

    Will be giving a Full Pardon to Dinesh D’Souza today. He was treated very unfairly by our government!
    8 replies 61 retweets 445 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    May 30

    I don’t know why people think this tweet is suspicious. Seems fine.

    132 replies 4,088 retweets 27,372 likes
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  12. May 30

    To silence the conspiracy theorists the White House has released this photo, taken today, of Melania Trump at home with the President

    108 replies 487 retweets 2,289 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    May 30

    Who among us hasn’t taken Ambien, sleepwalked down to the fridge, and posted dozens of racist tweets over several years

    200 replies 3,053 retweets 28,922 likes
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  14. May 30

    (Chanting) WE! JUST! TOOK! AMBIEN!

    418 replies 12,960 retweets 68,007 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    May 29

    First they came for Roseanne and I was like "Hell yeah." Then they came for Bill Maher and I was like "Holy shit. Is it my birthday?"

    404 replies 11,507 retweets 73,542 likes
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  16. May 29

    LAST MAN STANDING, S7, E1 TIM ALLEN: Hey everyone! Look who moved in next door! ROSEANNE [after thirty full seconds of canned applause]: Michelle Obama runs a pedophile ring

    141 replies 4,734 retweets 32,238 likes
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  17. May 29

    Finding it hard to follow the plot twists on this season of “Racist Westworld”

    2 replies 23 retweets 226 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    May 29

    My story about the "German Heiress" that took Manhattan (and Berlin and Paris and London ...) is out!

    153 replies 722 retweets 3,187 likes
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  19. May 28

    "Rockets fans, please welcome tonight's halftime performer, A Man Whining About Media Bias As He Eats a Bowl of Lukewarm Soup"

    5 replies 21 retweets 197 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    May 28

    At Yankee stadium: “The Yankees wish a happy birthday to former Mayor Rudy Giuliani.” Thunderous boos rained across the stadium.

    801 replies 6,121 retweets 39,908 likes
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  21. May 28

    WW2 SOLDIER [rising from the grave and setting foot in America for the first time in 80 years]: How’s the Nasdaq doing

    145 replies 3,988 retweets 22,090 likes
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