The Aziz Ansari story really hammers home that a sexual ethic based *solely* on technical consent will be one that privileges those who are powerful enough to acquire it.
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Consent is absolutely fundamental to sexual ethics but if a man’s sexual ethics boil down to nothing more than “I got her to let me do it” then you’re going to see a lot of this kind of predatory behavior.
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This is a much broader truth than just sex, too. It applies to capitalism and the so-called “consent of the governed” as well. If technical consent is the *sole* determination then those who can get it (even if it’s damaging for the other party) will rule.
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People will of course say “if you don’t like what a man is doing, leave” just as they say “if you don’t like your boss, quit” and “if you don’t like your country, move.” And that’s true. But staying does not mean that no abuse has occurred.
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Notice I’m not talking about whether the encounter meets some kind of statutory definition of assault. Other people can argue about that. I’m talking about how sexual ethics must include other things than just acquiring technical consent.
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The fact that people are responding to this with “but she could have left!” shows just how morally impoverished our culture has become. Consent is not the sole requirement of ethical sex. For one, you must also will the good of the other person and not just use them as an object.
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I know it’s hard to do nuance on Twitter but “She should have left” and “Aziz Ansari behaved in an unethical, exploitative way” are not mutually exclusive positions.
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Well it goes to the greater tragedy of neoliberal modernity, that the human subject and sexuality is a mere commodity, stripped of all sacred and meaningful elements.
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