i made it. i asked the Lord to help me through training today and He did. i asked Him to help me do a hard thing and He did. I asked Him for Strength to go to the grocery, put groceries away and finish some paperwork. and He did.
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...this may sound like a small list. but, i have been in bed/ sitting in a chair for nearly three weeks. so, this is YUGE. AND, my pain has not really increased tonight so i will go train again tomorrow.
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...this morning, before i left, and before i knew how it would go, i had a thought. " what of every time training is a fight, i picture someone i have been praying for for years and fight for them the whole time?" i think i am going to this from now on.
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...but for now, i am SO TIRED and i must rest.
goodnight.
victory! only that. 
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