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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    me playing hard to get: im in love with you

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  2. 2 guys next to me on the completely full and yet completely silent bus talking about going to get happy ending massages this weekend

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  3. i ask this sincerely so please be nice but how do u people cook rice so it’s the way u want it to be

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj
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  5. got a little heated when talking to my mom today and may have said something like ‘i dont care if i get coronavirus. if i die that is not my problem.’ and then she was like ‘ok. uh. anyway what did you have for dinner, dumbass?’

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  6. 4. velj

    the bugs in the shadow app when mayor peter buttofjoke sends the signal that he is about to lose bad and he needs them to act up right this moment to create a diversion

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  7. 4. velj

    boys chat vs. girls chat

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  8. 4. velj

    i need smth i can learn but that’s still substantial enough to count so options are: 1. watching youtube (was into this at age 13, i can prob do it again) 2. film bro (dont like this but shouldnt be hard) 3. drawing (hard to pull off but won’t have to prove that im good often)

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  9. 4. velj

    i need to come up with a new personality trait by the end of the day please it’s urgent

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  10. 4. velj

    arranging ur entire lifestyle to maximize laziness while minimizing detection and suspicion of the fact that u r secretly living like a disgusting little gremlin is honestly very hard work

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Her haters wish they were her

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  12. 4. velj

    royally fucked up every single social interaction i had today. that’s ok. im just going to sit at the corner table of this korean restaurant eating bibimbap and listening to lana del rey until im over it and then walk home in the cold.

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  13. 3. velj
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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    This Rashida Tlaib shit has sent me fully into pissed mode. Here's a comic

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  15. 3. velj

    ok i have never heard tracks 9-13 of this album before because the version i pirated a long time ago did not include them. u win some u lose some.

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  16. 3. velj

    feeling insane going to listen to visions by grimes and scream into my iced americano that i got bcuz they didnt have cold brew

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  17. 3. velj

    exploiting students is what professors, some of the smartest people in our society, do all the time and make a living off of so based on that u could argue that this is the smartest thing i have ever done

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  18. 3. velj

    exploiting all my friends who are students so that i can get tickets to the free gecs show this month

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  19. 3. velj

    i know everyone else in my apartment building is sick of hearing me listen to cryogeyser but i just want to know when the final straw for each of them was

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  20. 3. velj

    wait im not done- in 100 years someone hot in an old fashioned diver suit finds the treasure chest + crafts a very beautiful, ornate key 2 open it + finds my heart which is calcified by the saltwater + they immediately fall in love w my ghost + write love letters 2 me everyday🌊

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  21. 3. velj

    oh today’s the superbowl? that’s funny i’d marked it on my calendar as the day i was going to lie on my floor drinking sparkling rose/hibiscus sake and listening to music that makes me feel like my heart is being locked in a treasure chest and hidden in a beautiful deep sea cave

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