Disagreements of the, "I think you're wrong and bad" kind and those like, "I think your agenda/attention over-samples this" aren't the necessarily the same thing and the worst of online seems to emerge when people in the latter condition assume they're in the former.
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And I do think "worst" is correct. People who fundamentally disagree — even the case where someone is being explicitly vile — are in a way less bad because there isn't room for belief updates. The talking-past-each-other case squanders exactly that opportunity.
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Replying to @generativist
It is one of the greatest sources of frustration in my life. And it can hard to tell when the talking past each other is done in bad faith, as opposed to just miscommunication.
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